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People Like You Shouldn’t Be Caffeinated - I Do Every Day - March 13, 2020

  • 2020 Mar 13

People Like You Shouldn’t Be Caffeinated
By Janel Breitenstein

Maybe you can tell I’m one of those naturally more … exuberant people. I drink decaf, and at least one friend has said, “Makes sense. People like you shouldn’t be caffeinated.”

God, in His wisdom, paired me with someone wonderfully even-keeled, who occasionally (gently) asks me to “stop encouraging so much.”

But despite our vast temperament divide, good news doesn’t feel quite complete until I share it with him.

After a long, dark season in my life (yes, perky people have those)—I recently, at last, had some exhilarating news. We were both in different countries and it was midnight, but he answered the phone.

There was nothing like that call. The two of us, drowsy but elated over a win at last.

Turns out this is actually a phenomenon studied by psychologists. They call it “capitalization” (I like that! I’m a capitalizing sort of person!)—sharing good news with someone else.

In fact, two studies show there’s a close correlation between a couple sharing good news and their happiness. It’s a better indicator of relational satisfaction than talking about what’s hard.*

I see this in today’s “good stuff” verse. John talks about how his joy is “made complete” by telling what he’s seen and heard about God. He’s capitalizing: sharing the greatest win ever. And I’m actually commanded to “rejoice with those who rejoice” (Romans 12:15)—whether I’m feeling enthusiastic or not.

So I’ve been thinking about the little ways the two of us can celebrate the wins lately. Like the ways we swap stories over the good decisions a child makes (not a given). The compliment my husband mentions from a coworker. Or a mutual decision we arrive at after long deliberation.

Together? Take a minute for that victory lap today.

Listen to how you can learn to “Celebrate the Differences” in your marriage.

The good stuff: That which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete. (1 John 1:3-4)

Action points: Part of celebration involves training our eyes to see what’s celebration-worthy. (In that way, it’s linked to gratitude.) Challenge yourself to celebrate three wins with your spouse each day this week—and thank God for them.

*https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-16828-005 and
http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/91/5/904/

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