Of nubs and nuggets
By Bruce Goff
My 2-year-old daughter stared down and began to grab a nice sized fry. But she quickly put it back and with precision picked a pathetic nub of a fry.
I had asked her to share a fry with her mom and that's the one she chose.
A dinky nub.
How often do I do that in marriage? What's the bare minimum I can give my spouse to make sure I'm doing what God asks of me?
Like when I give my spouse a nub of a conversation. “How're you doing? Good? Good. Glad we had this talk.” And now back to watching basketball highlights on YouTube.
Or when I give her a nub of grace. What?! You didn’t do [insert no big deal] exactly how I thought you should—again?! RAAAR!!!
To give and serve someone that way is to doubt Jesus when he said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).
When I intentionally love my wife big time, it blesses me. The joy I get after a real heart-to-heart that blesses her is better than any dunk highlight or victory in a trivial argument.
It’s like C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity: “Aim at Heaven and you will get Earth 'thrown in': aim at Earth and you will get neither.”
Similarly, love aims at another’s good and gets joy “thrown in.” Selfishness aims at personal joy and misses everything.
God delights to love me big time (Ephesians 1:3-8). And because I’m made in His likeness, I’m made to do the same—to love God and love others, which certainly includes my spouse. And even if she doesn't respond like I hoped, loving her honors God, and there's joy in His design.
Later on during dinner, without being asked, my daughter offered to share not a fry nub, but an entire chicken nugget. Now that’s big time love—the kind I want to show my spouse.
The good stuff: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (John 15:8-11)
- How are you tempted to give less to your spouse?
- What’s a simple nugget of love you can give your spouse today?
- Ask God to help you believe that giving is better than receiving.
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