“Those guys” still exist
“I don’t understand what’s wrong with guys these days.”
Yet again, my dad was expressing his frustration with young men. “When I was dating your mother, I would bring her flowers, come in and talk with her parents, open her car door, pull out her chair. I would treat her the way a woman should be treated.”
In defense, I responded, “That’s old fashioned, Dad. Those guys no longer exist. And some girls don’t want to be treated that way.”
Truthfully, that was exactlyhow I wanted to be treated.
It was how Dad had always treated my mom and his four daughters. It made me feel valued, protected, and cherished.
Then a young man named Aubrey came into my life.
On our first date he opened my car door, pulled out my chair, stood when I stood, sent me flowers, and asked to meet my parents.
Whoa. (Had he been reading my mind?)
I was so excited, I called Dad and exclaimed, “Dad! They do still exist!”
He and Mom couldn’t wait to meet him.
A year later, Aubrey and I were married. And even after 38 years, he still makes me feel like I am the most desirable woman on earth.
But I learned it isn’t just about me as a woman, or male chivalry. I learned how important it was for me to make Aubrey feel cherished and deeply loved too.
Matthew 7:12 challenges me, as a spouse, to treat him the way I want to be treated.
I’ve enjoyed regularly encouraging him, telling him how handsome and sexy he is, how special he makes me feel, and doing things that make him feel special too.
He loves when I surprise him with a chocolate candy bar with nuts, or a juicy ribeye steak with the rosemary roasted potatoes he loves. Or when I lay my head on his chest while talking in bed, or wrap my arms around him from behind when he’s cooking to tell him I love him. Or when I simply hold his hand while we watch television together.
I’ve found that showing each other how much we love and cherish each other, in addition to saying, “I love you,” is essential for protecting our marriage, growing closer together, overlooking each other’s shortcomings more easily, and going the distance.
The good stuff: “Above all, keep loving each other earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)
Action points: This week, spend a few minutes during a meal sharing with each other some of the things that speak love to you. Then be intentional about putting that discovery into practice.
Visit the FamilyLife® Website