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This is Dumb - I Do Every Day - October 23

  • 2020 Oct 23

This is Dumb
By Carlos Santiago

As we were preparing for our wedding, my wife absorbed every piece of bridal information she could get her hands on: TV programs, magazines, even bridal expos.

I didn’t know much about planning a wedding, so at first, her diligence was reassuring. Over time, however, I realized something was wrong.

Long after the wedding was over, she continued to buy the magazines and watch the wedding shows. I didn’t know what to make of it. She kept showing me pictures specifically of wedding cakes, and all I could think was, This is dumb. We’re married already.

I realized I had a choice to make. I could continue to belittle her interests in the hope that she would give it up, or I could find a way to enter her world.

I decided to take a closer look at those cakes.

The more I learned, the more intrigued I became. I was hooked the day I saw a miniature village crafted out of chocolate and sugar at a bridal show. The engineering was incredible. Suddenly, these cakes didn’t seem so dumb.

Did I suddenly fall in love with ribbons and fancy parties? No. But I did find a way to respect something she cared about.

When her father turned 50, I helped her make a cake so tall she needed to stand on a chair to decorate the top. It weighed a ton and fed more than 200 people. The cake was a hit. People couldn’t stop talking about how beautiful it was.

Yet while all eyes were on the cake, mine were fixed on my wife. She was glowing in a way I had never seen before.

A few years later, she opened her own wedding cake business. Not only was I able to watch her excel in a career that gave her joy, but we were able to do it together. I even helped her make a smoking volcano out of sugar for a dinosaur cake.

Eighteen years of working side by side—which almost never happened—all because I decided to be a part of her world.

Do hobbies cause disagreements in your marriage? Read more on the importance of sharing common interests with your spouse.

The good stuff: Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4)

Action points: Does your spouse have an interest or hobby you’ve belittled? What would it look like for you to take a step toward growing respect for your spouse’s interest? Is there a way for you to participate without giving up what makes you uniquely you?

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