The Worst Moment in Your Marriage
By Janel Breitenstein
I hesitate to even bring it up—because even saying “the worst moment in your marriage” can conjure some aching, terrible moments.
They’re moments you never envisioned when you two were doe-eyed at the altar, when your vows had little more than imagination attached.
Maybe it was the day a parent died or a terrible miscarriage. Maybe it was a lost dream or the vision you had for a child. Maybe it was the day you found him with porn or the texts on her phone.
As a wife who’s walked through dark days, I ask an honest question: What if the next worst moment in your marriage … could be one of your best?
I’m not saying flowers and unicorns will spontaneously erupt from the next agonizing day before you.
But in some of those moments where life felt ripped open, I found myself pleading—at times in unintelligible gasps—for God’s wisdom. I’ve asked for the impossible. I’ve begged Him to somehow, somehow create beauty out of what could only be ashes. Sometimes, I’ve only been able to whisper some form of “Help.”
And following those moments, I see a distinct pattern of baffling follow-through on God’s part.
Most frequently, God has helped me to move beyond knee-jerk reactions that stem from the soil of profound fear. Rather than my instincts to control or punish or despair, He’s substituted supernatural gentleness. A relational pursuit to bless the other person rather than curse them. A trust that somehow, God can create new life from every loss, every death.
God has given both me and my husband the power to repeat a version of what Jesus did. He’s granted the power to trust Him with what’s most precious to us. He’s helped us to forgive and move toward each other in kindness and sacrifice, rather than revenge.
Essentially? Those worst moments are opportunities for the message of Jesus to speak the loudest. They turn our stories into love stories—not of the Disney variety, but the kind that go the distance.
What could God do with your next worst moment?
The good stuff: By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. (1 John 3:16)
Action points: No one wants to think about the next worst moment in their marriage. But pray that whenever your painful days come, God will empower you to trust Him and replay all over again His forgiveness and perfect plan.
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