I Kiss Better Than I Cook
I have a sign in my kitchen: “I kiss better than I cook.” It’s true. I just don’t have the drive to cook, a trait that drives my Pampered Chef-selling friends crazy. (Getting giddy over cheese graters and flower-shaped cookie cutters is not my cup of tea.)
But I’ve always heard the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So even though I much prefer kissing, I certainly wanted to win my husband’s heart. Being the good wife I was, I cooked.
My first stab at my wifely cooking duty was jambalaya. I bought a box of pre-seasoned rice and cut up some sausage. When I set it before my husband, he joked, “Oh, look! Cajun Helper.” Comparing my cooking to Hamburger Helper wasn’t helping him any.
Next dinner, I switched to a meal made from scratch. Looking for accolades, I asked him how he liked it, “It was good, sweetheart.”
Hmmm … lackluster, I thought, but I’ll take it.
Then he followed up with, “I would have cut out about half the onions.”
By the time the holidays rolled around, my desire to cook had dwindled to “Here, have a hot dog.” I decided to leave the cooking to everyone else, including my husband. If he wanted his Aunt Argie’s cornbread and greens, he was going to have to make it … and he did.
He also made from scratch chicken and dumplings, bacon and green beans, and smoked meats. Everyone loved it. My husband was a fantastic cook, and I didn’t even know it!
Turns out, the way to this man’s heart isn’t through his stomach; it’s through my stomach and into his ears. He loves when his wife enjoys his cooking.
I was putting pressure on myself to be something my husband didn’t need. What he needed was for me to appreciate and value his gifts rather than try to compete with them.
Sometimes preconceived ideas about marriage can get in the way of our relationships. What are some ways you can accommodate your spouse to let their natural gifts shine?
The good stuff: As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace. (1 Peter 4:10)
Action points: What are your spouse’s hidden gifts? Are there some changes you could make in order to take advantage of your spouse’s God-given gifts? Are you forcing yourself or your spouse into a stereotype that actually gets in the way of your relationship?
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