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The Tantrum That Changed Everything - I Do Every Day - December 29, 2019

  • 2019 Dec 29

The Tantrum That Changed Everything

By Leslie J. Barner

As the oldest child, I was used to being bossy and getting my way. No matter the circumstances, I’d usually win.

But when I met Aubrey, I met my match.

There was definitely a power struggle between us when we were first married. A lot of times, he’d give in out of love and a strong desire to make me happy. You know what they say—“Happy wife, happy life!”

I soon became accustomed to his concessions.

But about six months into our marriage, Aubrey made a decision he stood firm on. We discussed it, but  he felt strongly, and he wasn’t backing down.

This did not go over well.

I threw a royal fit! It was ugly. I yelled, screamed, pushed, punched, and used words I’d never said before and haven’t since.

The entire time, Aubrey stood his ground while never losing his composure, or his patience. He never even raised his voice.

When I had finally exhausted myself and stopped lashing out, he simply and sincerely said, “I love you.” He softly kissed me goodnight and left for work.

Touched by Aubrey’s unconditional love for me at a time when I was being so unlovely, I wept.

It was the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Not only did his response make me feel deeply and truly loved, it revolutionized our marriage.

I stopped striving to always get the win, and instead began yielding in our relationship to do what’s best for our marriage and family, so that we win.

Aubrey’s response that day was a great picture to me of unconditional love—choosing to love your spouse at their best and their worst.

Click here to read more about responding with love when your spouse is being unlovely.

The good stuff: Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

Action points: Recall a time when you were being unlovely and your spouse showed you unconditional love.

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