Have You Taken the Soulmate Test?
By Sabrina McDonald
“He wasn’t my soulmate.” That was the excuse someone I know used to file for divorce.
But what constitutes a soulmate, I wondered?
People talk about soulmate-ness like it’s definable. How did she determine her spouse wasn’t her soulmate? Is there a soulmate approval test? (Should my husband and I take it?) Do the soulmate police give mismatched couples a ticket? (If so, will our homeowners insurance go up?)
Thankfully, the Bible doesn’t speak of the illusive soulmate, but it does speak of oneness. It all started when Adam beautifully confessed over Eve, “This at last is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23). Later Jesus explained, “So they are no longer two but one flesh …” (Matthew 19:6).
You see, a soulmate isn’t someone you find; it’s someone you become.
The moment your union is sealed, your souls are connected. Marriage brings two people as close as humanly possible. It’s a miracle, really. Even if sometimes we don’t want to be connected so intimately. Or to be honest, we don’t want our spouse to be our soulmate.
So instead of holding my spouse up to some soulmate standard, here are some practical ideas for pursuing oneness:
- Support your spouse. Take interest in what he/she likes to do. Be a team.
- Have fun together. Invest in making memories.
- Connect in the “soul” realm. Pray together for yourselves and others, and thank God for His many blessings.
- Develop your relationship. Study books and Bible studies on marriage. Or attend marriage retreats, like FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember®.
I don’t want to spend married life trying to confirm that my husband is my soulmate. Instead, I want to spend my time investing in the husband I already have.
The good stuff: What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. (Mark 10:9)
Action points: How can you be a better soulmate to your spouse? Make a list of some practical steps to take. If you feel distance in your relationship, pray every day for the next 30 days that God would bring healing to your marriage. Make a list of all the ways your spouse qualifies as a soulmate.
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