My Boundaries Are Your Boundaries, Right? - I Do Every Day - March 18, 2023
My Boundaries Are Your Boundaries, Right?
By Judy Burrows
“It’s too much!” I proclaimed in the Kroger parking lot after my husband offered to make cookies and dinner for our group of friends.
“Too much money, or too much work?” he asked.
It was a clarifying question that made me stop and think—not just feel.
“Too much work!” I was already spent by the constant demands of showing our house to sell.
But my “aha” moment came when I finally realized I was stifling my husband’s gift and desire to serve. “I’ll do it. I enjoy hospitality,” he shrugged.
I’d declared what was too much for me was also too much for him—asserted my boundaries as his.
Finally understanding his desire, I released my attempt to control. I gave him space to move.
He worked happily in the kitchen cutting potatoes, carrots, chicken, and onion. And I prepared for guests by resting guilt-free in the living room.
Releasing control of him was liberating for both of us.
The Good Stuff: Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them. Romans 12:6
Actions Points: When you and your spouse are not seeing eye to eye on a matter, use clarifying questions to get to the heart of what is bothering each of you. Many words can have subjective meanings, and learning your spouse’s personal dictionary can be very freeing in communication.
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