By Lisa Lakey
Sometimes I feel like a total fraud.
I often feel that way walking into church with a smile plastered on my face. Kids dressed nice? Check. Holding husband’s hand? Check. Singing with the band with my head held high? Check.
Mentally and emotionally falling apart? Double check.
I feel kind of like a certain snow queen, “Don’t let them in. Don’t let them see.”
We especially feel this way with our marital struggles, right? It’s more personal. We think if we let others see what’s really going on at home, they’ll look at us differently. Judge us even.
If they only knew … nope. That’s too vulnerable.
Ever feel that way? Let me offer some comforting advice: Let it go.
No one has a perfect marriage. Not me, not you. Not even the couple in the pew across from yours holding hands during worship.
I repeat: no one.
So you’re not a fraud if you are working on your marriage. You’re not a fraud if you desperately want things to get better, but just don’t know how. And you’re not a fraud if your marriage is going through some icy patches.
Let go of the guilt of not already being in a healthy place. Trust God to work in you and through you to get there.
Action points: What is one area of your marriage you could work on right now? Pray and ask God for guidance, and then faithfully take those steps. For example, if you’re feeling disconnected, plan a coffee date with your spouse this week to catch up. Even if that means coffee at the kitchen table before heading to work or waking the kids. Remember, perfection isn’t the goal.
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