Happiness Is a Quiet Lover
By Sabrina McDonald
“Happiness is a quiet lover, and we don’t realize she has embraced us until she is gone.”
That quote by philosopher Bernard Williams rests on my dresser mirror. It reminds me to enjoy exactly what I have right now.
Years ago, as a new bride, someone advised me, “Don’t miss the wedding. Stop every now and then to soak up the moment.” That was the best wedding advice I received. I’ll never forget the happiness I felt in those moments.
But I’ve discovered that’s not just great advice for weddings—but for every day of married life.
Stress and negativity keep us forging ahead, always on the search for “one day.” One day, we’ll be in a better place financially … One day, he won’t work such long hours.
We focus so much on what makes us unhappy that we miss what makes us happy.
Why is it easier to see what we don’t like in our marriage or in our spouse? I wonder if it’s because we expect perfection—and what I mean by perfection is “everything done the way I expect it to be done.”
Paul said, “Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment” (1 Timothy 6:6). Contentment in marriage can mean several things, like not wishing you were married to someone else.
It also can mean letting go of little irritants. The dishwasher can be loaded more than one way! Or how my husband leaves the cabinet doors and drawers open after he uses them. Instead of getting upset, I just close them.
What would it look like for you to be content with your spouse?
It can’t go without saying there’s a small portion of us who should not be content with our spouse—abuse and cheating are not the kinds of things we should be content with.
But the majority of us need to accept the imperfect person God gave us and look for the good in them.
The good stuff: You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3
Action points: What makes you discontent with your spouse? What issues are caused by a difference of opinion? Which ones can you let go? Pray for God to give you a spirit of contentment with your spouse.
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