I Thought Our Debt Was His Problem
By Jennifer Smith
A few years into marriage, we weren’t living the life we dreamed of.
We both worked full-time jobs, we lived paycheck to paycheck, and we were drowning in debt. I compared our circumstances and what we didn’t have—like a large home and goods that filled it—to other couples we knew.
I believed the lie that we were less than others because we had less than others.
And I blamed my husband for it. I saw the debt as his responsibility, since he was the one who went to college and accrued it.
After many difficult conversations, we agreed on one thing: God’s Word.
Matthew 6:21 reminded me, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
My heart was treasuring the wrong thing. My marriage was more important than anything money could buy. And I had to shift from a “his problem” perspective to an “our problem” perspective. Besides, Jesus didn’t leave me alone in my debt (see 1 Peter 1:18-19).
Through this season of our marriage, I learned three things about money and debt:
1. We must be on the same page and working together about money to be debt free.
2. We had to live with a debt-free mindset. We agreed to avoid debt at all cost.
3. We needed to practice generosity. Being generous, especially with money, is a way to keep one’s heart far from the love of money.
We wish we learned these important values sooner. But when we did learn and apply them, the Lord took this contentious part of our marriage and transformed it.
Don’t let money be a source of his and hers division in your marriage. Instead, let it be a reason that unites you, together against the problem.
The good stuff: The borrower is the slave of the lender. (Proverbs 22:7)
Action points: What money issue do you and your spouse most often disagree on? Sit down and discuss how you can work together to turn this into a moment of unity.
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