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Can a Calendar Cause Divorce? Asking for a Friend. - I Do Every Day - June 13, 2020

  • 2020 Jun 13

Can a Calendar Cause Divorce? Asking for a Friend.
By Lisa Lakey

Can a calendar cause divorce? Asking for a friend.

Or not.

Recently, I purchased a chalkboard calendar. It was love at first-organizing sight. The moment I got home, I quickly chalk-penciled in all the important dates from the planner I keep in my purse. (Are you noticing a trend?)

Baseball games, parent-teacher conferences, church functions … all there in black and white for the entire family to see—and appreciate.

But one person in particular did not embrace the awesomeness of my new purchase: the husband.

He said nothing as he looked at everything coming up. His eyes widened as he slowly took it in. And then he looked at me like I was crazy.

This wasn’t the first time my husband’s and my personalities clashed. We are night and day. I thrive on structure and organization. I like to know what’s coming.

My husband, not so much. He finds too much structure constricting. He’s the Oscar to my Felix. We’re an odd couple, indeed, but we work.

Until one of us forces our personality on the other.

Then? Unintended stress, sharp words, and feelings of being misunderstood.

I know how that feels. When he changes all of my plans at the last minute, I have a near-panic attack. It’s not pretty.

I want to embrace my husband’s unique self. First Corinthians 12:18 is a good reminder to me when I try to conform him to my own image: “God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.”

God knew what He was doing when He created my husband’s come-what-may preferences (although he’s not irresponsible—that would be different).

Besides, we don’t need another calendar-crazed person in our home. His spontaneity is one of the things I love about him. It balances our family. It balances me.

Kids’ schedules straining your marriage? Read more on “Connecting With Your Spouse Through the Busy Parenting Years.”

The good stuff: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

Action points: What was the last (minor) argument you and your spouse had? Is there a possibility that it was less about the issue and more about personal preference? Consider how you can look at the issue from your spouse’s point of view. See anything different?

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