The Good Kind of Leaving
By Carlos Santiago
Three months before we married, I was laid off from my job. With our income slashed, we had to pull back from our search for an apartment to live in after the wedding.
Thankfully, my parents owned an apartment building. But when I explained our situation to my mom, she shocked me by saying she would not allow us to move into their building.
Furthermore, she said that after the wedding she didn’t want me to complain to her if my wife and I ever had a fight.
How could a strong Christian woman respond to her son like that? I felt rejected by one of the women who’d loved me most.
But my mom understood what would force me to “leave my father and mother and hold fast to my wife” (Ephesians 5:31).
It forced my wife-to-be and me to work together in ways we never had. She helped me consider new positions and the implications they would have on our life together. When I ultimately found a job, the victory was ours.
Leaving your parents is not a rejection of your past. It’s a wholehearted embrace of your spouse.
The good stuff: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31)
Action points: Are there still ways you’re depending on your parents—in ways you should be standing on your own as husband and wife? Do you depend on them financially, emotionally, or otherwise? Strategize together about a process to honorably leave your parents, and cling to each other instead.
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