Romancing Daniel Boone
By Sabrina McDonald
Sometimes I read certain romantic ideas for couples and think, Do these people know I’m married to Daniel Boone? He would never do that!
If the date has anything to do with picnics or libraries or black-and-white movies or love letters … it ain’t gonna happen.
My husband served in the military for 32 years. His favorite hobbies are bass fishing and duck hunting. Since we’ve been married, I’ve seen him read one book. It was about fishing.
I think a lot of women are unhappy with a good marriage because we’ve been conditioned to believe “romantic” describes one type of behavior.
So the loving wife who longs for her husband’s attention sets out on a DIY husband makeover and starts chipping away at his "rough edges"—the traits he’s proud of. Not only does the project fail, her poor husband recoils. And they’re further apart than they began.
As God seeks to draw us into relationship with Him, He loves us as we are. Rough edges and all. And as we experience His love, we are drawn closer to Him—naturally.
That concept applies to marriage, too. Rather than harboring idealistic expectations about what romance is "supposed" to look like, let's work with what we have. After all, what is romance but an outward expression of love?
Romance your husband in a way that speaks to him. Like God did for us, love the very rough edges that seem like an obstacle to romance, and see if closeness doesn't happen by default. Then let his love overflow back onto you, in his own way.
Husbands, if you're still reading, maybe you have a wife who doesn't go for all the lovey-dovey stuff. That's OK too! The point is to find something that speaks romance to your spouse and fill him or her up the way God fills us—to overflowing. “And may the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow, just as our love for you overflows” (1 Thessalonians 3:12, NLT).
The good stuff: We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
Action points: How have you been putting expectations on your husband that are based on someone else’s idea of romance? Did it put distance between you? Make a list of romantic ideas fit for your husband’s personality and hobbies. Put one romantic date idea from your list on the calendar within the next 60 days.
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