Can I Tell You About My Wife?
By Ed Uszynski
Holding up the wall next to me is a volunteer, a man probably in his late 60s, catching his breath from a busy morning. We stand at the back of a hotel ballroom where I wait to speak at the final session of FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember®.
Uninvited, he turns to me and starts talking. Not about the weekend. About his wife.
“I absolutely love being married to my wife,” he says, and proceeds to tell me how great she is.
Tells me that on his desk at work, he has a picture of her he shows to folks who visit him and that reminds him to pray for her. He lists off a few of her positive attributes and how much he appreciates the way she’s hung in there with him through the years.
As he goes on, I realize there’s no point he’s trying to make. He’s hardly even looking at me. He’s just doting on his wife, half talking to himself, half to me.
Then I feel it. A self-conscious awkwardness hitting me square in the face.
Two men rarely stand next to each other just to talk up the virtues of their wives, especially if they don’t know each other.
But I became embarrassingly aware I never do.
I didn’t have a picture of Amy in my office to pray for her or to show her off. I didn’t have a list of “what I love about my wife” ready to drop on friends or unsuspecting strangers.
I didn’t intentionally go out of my way to talk her up—ever.
He had cultivated the habit of thinking and talking about the positive impact his wife had on his life and it changed him. It created gratitude and admiration in him that absorbed annoyances and frustrations she created in his life. It gave him eyes to see his life with her differently.
Completely unexpected takeaway from the Weekend to Remember, but it stuck.
So. Can I tell you about my wife?
The good stuff: Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. (Proverbs 3:27)
Action points: Would you consider yourself intentional about honoring and verbally affirming your spouse? (Would your spouse consider you that way?) Over the next week, attempt to praise your spouse at least twice to someone else.
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