A Mama’s Empty Arms
By Teri Gasser
“But to Hannah he gave a double portion, because he loved her, though the Lord had closed her womb.” 1 Samuel 1:5
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. I pleaded as I sat on my toilet, “Please, please, God, let me keep this one. I can’t bear to lose this baby too!”
His Spirit whispered, “My Grace is sufficient.”
In rebellion I blurted, “I don’t want your grace! I want a baby!”
Thirty years later, I watched in horror as my own daughter came close to bleeding to death during a miscarriage. I knew her pain but compounding that was the threat of loosing yet another child of my own.
This Mother’s Day my heart goes out to all the moms who bear the weight of empty arms. For women who long for a child—no burden compares to this heaviness. I think of my young friend who wears a bracelet of birthstone charms signifying the miscarriages of her upheld babies. Two older friends come to mind as they grieve for their sons, both young men who took their own lives. I consider so many possessing a strong maternal instinct but unable to conceive. Yes, you too belong to the Mama’s with Empty Arms Club.
It’s not a group we want to be part of. Yet, for reasons unknown to us God allows us admission. And in spite of the horrible circumstances, we find ourselves in good company. Hannah felt this weight. She and many other sisters in the Bible serve to remind us even in our bareness God loves us. He counts us worthy of His care and fellowship. Even when I screamed at His gentle reminder—when I rejected His grace—He never rejected me. He tenderly led me back to His presence, to worship. Like Hannah I fell before the Lover of my soul and He held me.
Today, Mamas with empty arms, know your Heavenly Father holds you too!
Like Ezra, Teri Gasser has a “heart to study the Law of the Lord, and to do it and to teach his statutes. . .” (Ezra 7:10, esv). She’s been married over thirty years, has four grown children, and adores her grandchildren. Her passion is to see women transformed by truth. Teri Gasser serves as the Director of Women’s Bible Studies at Grace Baptist Church in Manhattan, Kansas. She’s also a pastor’s wife, Bible study leader, speaker, and writer. She hopes to have her first book published soon. Visit her online at terigasser.com.
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