Moving Past Fear of Rejection
By Christa Cottam
“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.” Isaiah 53:3
We were best friends, and then we weren’t. My friend’s mom decided her daughter needed more popular companions. I see now that the situation was about serious issues with my friend's mom, not me. But my middle-school heart felt rejected.
That pain cut deep. This was personal. I was rejected because of who I was—or rather, who I wasn’t. My young mind concluded I wasn’t good enough.
I felt worthless.
From then on, I was different. In fear of future rejections, I guarded my heart in relationships and avoided situations where I might be told, “You didn’t make the team,” or “You’re not right for the job.” I tried to prove my worth through hard work, believing, if useful, I wouldn’t be discarded. I elevated myself to positions of authority so I couldn’t be eliminated.
Jesus knew deep rejection. Isaiah 53 says, "He was despised and rejected.” Yet, He never wavered—He knew who and whose He was.
After turning to Jesus for salvation, I saw that my fear of rejection stemmed from allowing the world to define me. I was horribly afraid to be rejected because it forced me to come face to face with my deepest fear … that I lacked value.
I overcame that fear by recognizing that my identity and worth are found in Christ, and that I’m God’s created daughter. Nothing God creates is worthless. And should I ever forget, His love letter to me—the Bible—reminds me.
What causes you to fear rejection? Bring it into the healing light of God’s truth today, because in Jesus, we are always enough.
Christa Cottam is a spunky woman with a fire in her belly to tell others about Jesus—how He brought her from being held down by a past filled with shame, guilt and unforgiveness to embrace God’s love and ultimately find freedom to be the person He created her to be. As part of the Wholly Loved Ministries team, she is passionate about encouraging women to go deeper in their relationship with God. Christa also uses her gifts in the arts and leadership to make kingdom impact at her church, serving as a worship leader and volunteering in women’s ministry.
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