Can a husband objectify his wife?
So, while a husband can’t technically lust over his wife, he certainly can objectify her. He objectifies her when he sees his marriage as a one-string marriage. When he thinks his wife’s purpose for existing is to have sex with him. He has made her subhuman and an object for him to consume, use, and then discard until the next use is needed.
This guitar metaphor is also quick to show that the Sex string is just as important in a marriage as anything else is. This is not a divisive either/or fight.
You can’t make God-designed music on the guitar with only five strings either.
Song of Solomon or Proverbs 5:18-19 all testify to this. It’s good and God-honoring for a man to be sexually attracted to his wife, and for a wife to be sexually attracted to her husband. But that desire is in the context of a six-stringed, one flesh marriage. When two have become one in every area, not just in one (sex).
So, husbands: yes, you can enjoy your wife, including her body parts, so long as you remember you married your wife, not her body parts. Can you imagine the vows in that marriage ceremony!? I trust that no husband made marriage vows only to his wife’s body parts, therefore no wife should be seen as just body parts.
Do you love your wife because she’s the one you get to have sex with, or do you love having sex with her because you love your wife? A simpler and blunter way to ask this is: Which do you love more, sex or your wife?
God designed you to be attracted to a woman, a her, not to body parts, a that.
Useful Tip: Porn use (and even adultery) doesn’t always mean that a marriage is over. You can get this free e-book from Covenant Eyes to read how four betrayed wives found healing for themselves and for their marriages.
Noah Filipiak is a pastor at Crossroads Church in Lansing, MI, and the author of Beyond the Battle: A Man's Guide to his Identity in Christ in an Oversexualized World. He also hosts the Beyond the Battle Podcast. If you desire to be free from lust, porn, and fantasy, you can join Noah in an online small group at beyondthebattle.net, or get the leader guide to run your own group.
This article originally appeared on covenanteyes.com. Reprinted with permission.
Photo Credit: ©Thinkstock/nd3000