3 Ways to Nurture the Father-Child Bond
1. Engagement
This is an intentional seeking of connection with each of our kids through shared interests, interests in the child, and general excitement and pride in them. An important piece to note here is that engagement is entering in with the child without their prompt.
2. Availability
Being available is having a presence and an accessibility to the child. While engagement is where we seek the child out, looking for ways to cultivate them...availability is being there when they need us, and having an emotional presence in our homes.
In short, be there. Truly present. When they are seeking you.
You can be in the house every day and never really be “there” with them. This isn’t the kind of availability that leads to a fulfilled child.
3. Responsibility
Taking responsibility over the child points to providing for them. I see until recently this has been the baseline expectation of fathers: to provide. Making sure basic needs are met food, shelter, clothing, doctor and dental visits, and overall displaying the arrangement of resources for the family.
While provision is a big part, there is a deeper place in taking real responsibility that I believe gets missed.
And it’s this: accepting responsibility for any deficiencies or neglect that were within our control as fathers. This doesn’t mean if we have made some mistakes that it’s too late. If there is life, there is still time to make something right.
The Boba article further explains that the involved father is one who is sensitive, warm, close, friendly, supportive, intimate, nurturing, affectionate, encouraging, comforting, and accepting. Whew, and I thought following the 10 Commandments was tough! All right, dads, follow me. Let’s see what all this points to.
So why do children need fathers?
In short, the purpose of having a healthy father-child relationship is to point the child to Father God. The way our kids perceive us is the way they will perceive God. Those three foundational ways to nurture the father-child bond actually point to three deep-rooted spiritual needs:
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/evgenyatamane