3 Uplifting Tips to Ensure Your Empty Nest Is Full of Blessing

Teri Miller Author
Updated Mar 30, 2023

The doctor told us, “You’ll never be able to have children, just relax and stop trying.” As you can imagine, I was devastated. I thought he was going to give us tips on what we could do to conceive, and instead we left the office brokenhearted. But God had another plan, and three years later we were pregnant with our first of three children.That journey sounds quick and easy. It definitely wasn’t, but that’s a story for another day.

Since then, I’ve spent the past 27 years of my life keeping three people alive. I’ve fed them, bathed them, read to them and sang to them. I’ve sat through thousands of hours of practices and events and cheered them all on with a joy only a momma could know. I’ve watched them drive away for the first time alone in a car, and I’ve waved good-bye as they have journeyed off to college and across the world.

What a joy and a privilege it’s been to parent my three amazing children. And while my relationship with them continues, my nest is empty, and while it’s been challenging to “let go, and let God” take care of them, I am realizing how great this next chapter of my life can truly be.

Do you find yourself walking around your quiet home wondering what is next? Do you have mixed emotions about this new season of life that has been thrust upon you? If so, here are three tips to encourage you and assist in your time of transition:

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Tip #1. Allow yourself time to adjust to your new normal.

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1

“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

I used to be uncomfortable with negative feelings. I would avoid them at all costs. I stuffed them down deep or denied their existence in order to focus on the good and stay positive, or in an effort to “not appear needy”.

But I’ve learned the beauty of allowing myself to grieve and feel the loss of something or someone. I’ve learned that it is in moments of great sadness or pain, if I am willing to be honest and share those feelings and experiences with the Lord and trusted friends, that healing and joy can come back to my heart.

Understand that it’s natural to need time to adjust to your new normal. Season’s change. Situations change. Many times without warning. Give yourself a little grace to adjust and get used to the quiet.

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Tip #2. Take time to seek the Lord.

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope He has given to those He called – His holy people who are His rich and glorious inheritance.” Ephesians 1:17-18

Whether you work outside the home or not, the years you’ve spent raising your children have been primarily about them. Raising children can be the most rewarding and most exhausting thing you ever do. But somehow, by the grace of God, you blink and the baby you held in your arms is now the young man you reach up to hug.

For some of us, this is a time to cut loose and run harder and faster at what we’ve already been doing, but now with more available time and energy.

For others, it’s a time to pause and seek the Lord’s will. You may struggle with a loss of purpose when your children are leaving home. Our society tends to focus more on what we do rather then who we are. This can cause us to do things so others will validate and/or admire us. Thank you Facebook and Instagram.

Understanding this truth will hopefully give you permission to pause. To rest, or to travel or try something new. Trust me, God’s got something great for you in this new season. You don’t need to let the opinions of those around you cause you to do anything the Lord is not calling you to do.

1 Thessalonians 2:4 says, “For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the good news. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.”

Think of this time as a fresh start, an opportunity to get better at what you already love to do, or time to learn something new altogether.

Maybe you will enjoy being available to help with grandkids, or you can join that club, Bible study or ministry you’ve been drawn to. Maybe it’s time for you to step up and take the lead with what you have already been doing. Perhaps it’s time for you to step down and let someone else have a chance to take the lead.

No matter what you do or don’t do, you have wisdom, maturity, and skills to offer. You’re not done yet, but you may need to seek the Lord to find out specifically what your new adventure looks like. Don’t lose hope! God’s got an amazing future waiting just for you.

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Tip #3. Enjoy the new relationship you have with your adult children.

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” Proverbs 22:6

“I have no greater joy that to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4

When our children grow we should transition from absolute authority and protector, to instructor and advocate – and finally to guide, advisor, and friend.

This to me is the greatest blessing of being a parent. The relationship I currently enjoy with my adult children brings me great joy and pride. To watch them love their spouse, or excel at their career, or simply interact with others with their own style and personality, brings me great joy.

It has not always been easy, let me tell you. They have not always made the choices I would have made, and I have spent more hours on my knees on their behalf as they have become adults then I did all the years raising them combined.

But not being as involved directly with the consequences of their decisions, has given me freedom to enjoy them to a greater degree as people, more than I ever could while they were full-time under my roof. At times, I have the honor of continuing to mentor them, but it is with great joy because I understand that God has got them. That He loves them and will take them where they need to go to flourish in Him, just like He did and continues to do with me.

Raising kids is a crazy ride. One full of messy rooms, loud laughter, and louder “discussions.” It is busy and tiring… and awesome.

Finding fulfillment and blessing in the years of “empty nesting” is not only possible, but it is God’s will for us. He is always calling us deeper and challenging us to trust in Him more.

Teri Miller is a writer, speaker/teacher, and counselor in training. She is passionate about helping others find healing and freedom in Jesus. She is the author of Death of a Church Lady, Confessions of Hurt, Healing & Freedom. She is the mother of three amazing children, and resides in Michigan with her handsome hubby of 30+ years. For more information regarding Teri’s book, ministry or to contact her, visit https://terimillerministries.com/