1. Let Them Decide What's Best for Them
Sometimes we think we know what's best for our children, but when they become adults, we don't.
After they've left the nest, we can't know what's best when we don't see the back story. We don't see their day-to-day problems or daily encounters. Young people today face tremendous challenges and stress we didn't have 40 years ago. We can't understand what we've never experienced.
And unless we are engaging in a language that resonates with them, we don't know their fears, hopes, and dreams.
Grown children want you to respect them as adults entitled to make choices. Which means we can't talk to them as they are kids. Did you eat? Why aren't you wearing a coat? Do you think it's wise to be out late in that neighborhood? These, and other similar phrases, are as annoying as the barking dog we can't keep quiet.
Our adult children need us to believe in them and show them we are confident they will make good choices without our interference. They may not always make the same decisions we would make in every scenario, and that's okay. Our children must fly and land as we did. And they will learn from their mistakes.
Our job is to support them as a quiet bystander. As toddlers, sometimes my children would run to confess a bump or tumble, only to run away in glee after I "kissed the boo-boo." In the same way, our adult kids are looking for acknowledgment of their pain and empathy for their feelings.
Sometimes they only want us to listen without offering advice, which leads to the next lesson.
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