How to Deal With People Who Try to Bring You Down
- Carrie Lowrance Crosswalk Contributor
- 2017 3 Feb
We all have people in our lives who try to bring us down. You may have that one parent that tries to bring you down all the time. You could have a boss that is always criticizing you. Maybe you have a friend that is very subtle in tearing you down. It is so easy to get frustrated and angry at people who act like this. It is also easy to take their words to heart, cause them to stop us in our tracks, and never pursue the dream that the Lord has planted in us. As Christians, how should we deal with people like this?
Consider Their Background
Rough Childhood - As we all know, our childhood shapes a lot of who we are. Sometimes when people have less than loving childhoods (verbal/emotional abuse) it is only natural for them to do to others what has been done to them. This does not make it right. The best thing we can do is try and build up what has been torn down in them.
Low Self Esteem - Sometimes those with low self esteem will try to bring down others. They feel they have no worth so therefore they have to diminish others. As hard as it may be not to lash back, respond with a kind and loving word. Point out something they are really good at and let them know.
Poor Choices - When we make poor choices, we suffer the consequences. It can be hard to look around and see how others seem to ‘have it together’. If someone is trying to bring you down in this regard, reach out and ask how you can help them.
Are They Stuck In Their Own Failures? - Sometimes people get caught up in their own failures, therefore, they do not want to see others succeed. In feeling this way, they feel like they have to discourage everyone around them.
As Christians, we should show compassion in all these situations rather than getting angry.
A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. -2 Timothy 2:24 (NLT)
Remember Our Value & Worth
- We must remember that our worth and value is not in those around us.
- Our value and worth are in the Lord.
- We all have value because we have all been blessed with talents and gifts.
- He has created all of us uniquely and we are all valuable to him beyond measure.
We Must Turn The Other Cheek And Keep Moving Ahead
- When people try to bring us down we must let if fall on deaf ears.
- We need to continue to pursue the dreams the Lord has placed in us and the roads on which He is leading us.
- If we are having an off day at work, forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make, and make an effort to enjoy the rest of our day.
- Listen closely to the Lord’s guidance in our hearts on how to specifically handle a situation.
Pray For Those Around Us
The most important thing we can do for these people (other than not lashing back) is to pray for them. Take the time to get to know the people that tear you down. Get inside their lives, thoughts and emotions. Then pray as specifically as you can about their situation. Reach out to them and help them if you can. If there is something they have always dreamed of doing, encourage them to go for it. If it is something you know a lot about, offer to mentor them. If they are suffering from past hurts but don’t know how to get past it, research some good, Christian therapists in your area and pass on the information. If they are struggling with a self-esteem issue, point out all the good characteristics and talents they have. Compliment them at least once a week when/if you see them. You never know what will become of the seeds you plant in love.
Pray for their salvation. It’s hard to know how to pray for someone when it comes to this matter. The best way I know to pray in this way, is to ask the Lord to reveal himself in a way that is unique to the individual. Ask the Lord to open their eyes, heart, mind and soul in a way that they have no doubt that He exists. In a way that would speak specifically to them.
Are you still worried you may not respond as you should? Let’s pray for the Lord’s help in this matter.
Please help me when those around me try to bring me down. Allow me to recognize the hurts and issues in their lives and how I can be of help to them. Help me to keep my natural human tendencies in check and not to retaliate back. Quietly remind me where my true worth and value really lie. Give me comfort in knowing that You are leading me on a better path and give me the strength to continue pursuing it. Please clear my heart of any issues that will hinder me from praying for those around me. In Your Name I pray. Amen.
Carrie Lowrance is a freelance writer and author. She has been featured on Huffington Post, She Is Fierce, Parachute, The Frugal Farmer, etc. She is also the author of two books of poetry, one children's book, and she writes her own personal finance blog at carrielowrance.com.
Image courtesy: Thinkstockphotos.com
Publication date: February 3, 2017