How to Make Good Christian Friends
- Amanda Idleman Contributing Writer
- Published Apr 23, 2021
Amy Poehler once said, “Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.” I love this quote because I have found it to be 100% true for my life!
The close friends I have been gifted with have absolutely changed my life for the better. There is literally no way I could live the life I have now without the love, encouragement, and support of my fellow Jesus-loving friends.
One reality that can make adult friendships hard to find and keep is how crunched our time can become. We have to manage busy jobs plus busy homes. Even in the midst of our weekly hustle, consider that friends make all of those life stressors so much more manageable!
Even though we have to put effort into spending Friday evenings together; this time spent laughing, sharing, and making memories helps relieve the stress that the rest of our week may have held.
Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” We need this casual time spent sharing our lives together in order to see spiritual growth in our own lives. Sometimes the most profound wisdom is gained from simple conversations with trusted Christian friends.
This can look like a conversation about a book you are reading or even just things as simple as words of affirmation from beloved friends.
Friends, as Proverbs 29 puts it, add sweetness to our lives, when they share with us their wise counsel.
Why We Need Christian Friends
The Bible also shares insight into the power that friendships have in our lives. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs reminds us that the company we keep rubs off on us.
When we spend time with others who are pursuing the Lord, their passion, love, and example encourages us in our own journey’s. The opposite is true, when we spend most of our time with people who are not pursuing righteous living, then we can begin to suffer the harm that their choices bring about.
Finding a community of other believers to do life with is an essential part of what discipleship, accountability, and spiritual growth looks like. Sunday church is a great place to worship with other believers as a group but it is in the intimate conversations with friends, the moments of tough love, and the midnight calls for prayer that we get into the nitty gritty of living out our faith.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says it this way, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
When we are connected with others who are also connected to Jesus our faith and ability to endure the harder season that life brings is strengthened.
In my own life I know I could not have survived the sleep-deprived years of early motherhood without a tribe of other faith-filled Mom’s cheering me along. In recent years when my marriage felt like it was in tatters, I turned to faithful friends for prayer, advice, and accountability.
Now as we step out in faith as Foster/Adoptive parents we are relying on the support, prayers, and encouragement of our community to get us through this uncertain season.
We need the help of others to live bold, faith-filled lives! God knows this to be true and that is why he tells us don’t be alone. Find others to do this life with so you have the support you need.
How to Make Christian Friends
Finding your people usually takes some effort, openness, and trial-and-error. Years back my husband and I realized we were in need of a stronger friend group. In an effort to find our people we began something we called “Supper Club”; an idea we borrowed from Jen Hatmaker. At this club a group of us committed to spending one night a month sharing a meal together. We each took turns hosting and cooking.
Not everyone who bagan that group with us felt like it was the right group for them and that was okay. But most of the couples that we started this group with over five years ago have become some of our closest friends.
We are so thankful that over time these friends, along with families we do small groups with, have become an extended part of our family.
I share my story to let you know that not everyone you reach out to will become your forever friend but taking the first step in being intentional about spending time together is all it takes to create meaningful and lifelong friendships.
Make Friends through Your Church
Church is also a great place to connect with other Christ-followers. Small Group has become our lifeline and has been the place we have been open about our struggles and seen God answer countless prayers on our behalf. These groups are also usually the primary way that you begin to build relationships with others who attend your same church.
Make an effort to be present at church community building events. It can be awkward at first to start small talk with someone you have just met but the great thing about church is that you at least know you have that in common!
Begin breaking the ice by sharing your experience with your faith community and see where things go from there.
Make Friends Using Apps
There are also some great apps available to help you make some wonderful christian friends. United Young is a platform that helps connect those who are passionate about Jesus. It is a great place to make friendships or to make a dating connection.
These apps help connect you to others that will share some of your same beliefs, interests, goals, and more. They help take some of that hard legwork out of meeting new people.
Make Friends through Bible Study
Another great way to get connected to other believers is through Community Bible Study. CBS is a program that you can literally plug into almost anywhere in the world! The program joins believers from all different church backgrounds and ages together through a structured Bible study.
It is a great place to connect with others and grow in your knowledge of the Bible.
Bible Study Fellowship is a similar program that has groups you can connect to all over the world. An added bonus is most of these programs offer amazing childcare/children bible study programs that offer the chance for your whole family to grow their biblical knowledge and community.
I have attended both of these programs and have both made wonderful friends through the time spent together studying the Bible and also the studies have offered me a much richer understanding of God’s Word.
Another great place to connect with other Mom’s is through MOPS. This organization offers structured meetups for Mom’s across the country. This is a great place to make connections with other Mom’s in the same stage/phase of life.
Motherhood is lived out with others there to cheer you on and sometimes to commiserate with too!
Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Meeting with others is powerful!
God created us from the very beginning to need others in our lives. We were never meant to be alone. Take the time to reach out, connect, and find people that can pour into your life. Your willingness just to show up is one of the best gifts you can give the people in your life.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages
Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God's Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.