The Top Five Lies of Perfectionism
- Bonnie Gray The Faith Barista
- 2011 2 Jun
"Faith is a verb described as a noun.”
I used to tell myself, “I have to stop being a perfectionist!”
Can anyone else hear the irony of those words?
One of the biggest traps I often fall into is the notion that I can get rid of perfectionism.
If only I had more confidence in myself…
If only I could let go of the past…
If only I trusted God more…
All this If-Only thinking accomplished only one thing: keeping me from my Only-Hope of freedom. My focus to overcome my flaws blinded me to the truth.
God hasn’t been waiting for me to be better.
God has been longing to love me deeper — more than I had ever dared to imagine.
You and I don’t have to wait until we are free from perfectionism to start taking new steps.
I have gone through a lot of re-starts in my life. One thing I’ve found consistent: the voice of perfectionism always tries to stop me.
The newer the step, the louder the criticisms of perfectionism hisses.
It’s become so predictable that I came to a startling conclusion: the pull towards perfectionism isn’t going away. On this side of heaven, these critical voices can’t be annihilated completely.
But, I’ve also found a more powerful truth: the voice of God dares me to step forward anyways, because I am more loved than my imperfection.
Part of being human is experiencing our weaknesses. But, it doesn’t have to control the choices we make.
I’d done a pretty good job of listening to the voices of perfectionism, I decided to try an experiment.
Just for argument’s sake. What would happen if I started siding with the voice of God’s love?
I did a word study on “perfect” and “love” through the Bible. I began taking The Love Dare.
When In Doubt, Take The Love Dare
Using the nuggets I dug up from God’s word, I challenged myself — as a dare — to make choices that reflected my trust in God’s love for me, rather than how I felt about myself.
The Love Dare:
Whenever I get to a fork in the road between my fears and faith, I dare to:
1) Stop making decisions based on three things: fear of failure, mistakes or others’ opinions of me.
2) Take the step that reflects only one thing: God’s unconditional love for me.
The Love Dare is based on this key verse:
“And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5b
Top 5 Lies Of Perfectionism
As I took The Love Dare, I found some ammo to combat the Top 5 Lies of Imperfection.
Lie #1. I’m not good enough.
Truth #1: So what. God loves what I’m doing anyways!
“If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness… God’s power works best in my weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9, 11:30
Lie #2. It’s too late.
Truth #2: It’s never too late. God saves the best for last!
“Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.” ~ Jesus turning water into top grade wine. John 2:10
Lie #3. Why bother starting if I can’t finish?
Truth #3: I don’t know how long this will take. But if God’s in it, I’ll make it!
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
Lie #4. People won’t like me.
Truth #4: Not everyone will. It will hurt, but God still thinks I’m wonderful!
“it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself… but the one who examines me is the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 4:3-4
Lie #5. People will hurt me.
Truth #5: Even if that’s true, hurt won’t be my end. God’s love for me still wins in the end!
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…” Genesis 50:20
Take The Love Dare
I hope you take the Love Dare, as you find yourself at a fork in the road.
It can happen many times during the day, but remember God’s love will never grow tired or weary.
God’s love goes beyond our limits. And nothing — not even perfectionism — can keep God’s love from you.
Even as I wrote this post, the threats of imperfection wanted to sabotage me. That’s okay.
I’m going to publish it anyway.
How is perfectionism are holding you back?
How is God encouraging you to step forward?
Publication date: June 2, 2011
Bonnie Gray is author of Whispers of Rest and of Finding Spiritual Whitespace. An inspirational speaker, Bonnie has touched thousands of lives to encourage and lead women to flourish in faith, stress recovery and wellness. Bonnie is featured writer at Relevant Magazine, (in)courage, and Christianity Today. She lives in California with her husband and two sons.
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