When You Feel Far from Thankful: Finding Gratitude in Hard Times
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Being thankful during hard times can feel like a struggle, especially when disappointment, difficult relationships, or unanswered prayers weigh on your heart. You know you have reasons to thank God, but knowing that and feeling grateful aren’t always the same thing. I’ve been there, too, going through the motions of Thanksgiving while my thoughts linger on everything that feels wrong. When we feel far from thankful, we can begin by praying honestly, remembering God’s faithfulness, and thanking Him for one specific way He has cared for us.
In Luke 17:11–19, Jesus healed ten men with leprosy, but only one returned to thank Him. That account makes me pause. How often have I prayed earnestly for help, then hurried on without thanking the One who answered? As I look at Bible verses about gratitude, I’m reminded that we have reasons to give thanks even while we’re hurting: God’s mercy endures, His character is good, and we can bring our weary hearts to Him. Let’s explore how remembering those truths can help us grow a thankful heart.
What Can You Do When You Don’t Feel Thankful?
When you don’t feel thankful, start by telling God honestly what’s on your heart. Bring Him your disappointment, sadness, or frustration, and ask Him to help you recognize His care. You can acknowledge what hurts while giving thanks for the ways He is sustaining you.
Then, remember a time when God helped you through something difficult. Has He given you strength, provided for a need, or sent someone to encourage you? Begin with one specific thank-you: “Lord, thank You for the friend who checked on me today.” I’ve found that a small, sincere prayer is a meaningful place to start, even when my feelings haven’t caught up.
What the Ten Lepers Teach Us About Gratitude
We have our celebrations and family feasts, but our hearts have forgotten true thankfulness, and we have become like the nine lepers who never returned to Jesus. In the Bible, in Luke 17:11-19, ten lepers encountered Jesus as He was on His way to Jerusalem. They called out to Him for mercy, and Jesus instructed them to go show themselves to the priests. As they went, they were healed of their leprosy. However, only one of the ten, a Samaritan, returned to thank Jesus and praise God. Jesus noted this man’s gratitude and highlighted that he was the only one who returned to give thanks, emphasizing the importance of being grateful.
Those ten lepers looked for pity because, like us, they were diseased, alone, and ailing. And although they were completely healed, only one thought to return to the Healer.
I believe losing a thankful heart is just as crippling a disease as leprosy - it's a kind of leprosy of the soul. It causes men and women (even those who call themselves Christians) to go through the motions but forget to return to their Healer. And, after looking at reasons for thanksgiving in the Scriptures, I have come to the conclusion that I am far from truly thankful also. Look at these:
The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and exalted be the God of the rock of my salvation. It is God that avengeth me, and that bringeth down the people under me, And that bringeth me forth from mine enemies: thou also hast lifted me up on high above them that rose up against me: thou hast delivered me from the violent man. Therefore I will give thanks unto thee, O LORD, among the heathen, and I will sing praises unto thy name. 2 Samuel 22:47-50
The Lord is our Deliverer. This is not just about the food we eat and the clothes we wear - it is being thankful about Who the Lord is. How has He delivered you?
Make Thankfulness a Daily Practice in Your Home
Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people. Sing unto him, sing psalms unto him, talk ye of all his wondrous works. Glory ye in his holy name: let the heart of them rejoice that seek the LORD. Seek the LORD and his strength, seek his face continually. Remember his marvellous works that he hath done, his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth. 1 Chronicles 16:8-12
We are exhorted here to not only thank God for what He has done for us, but to declare to others His deeds - who better than to those of our own household? It also said, "seek His face continually." Is seeking Him a continual habit in my home? For that matter, is thanksgiving a habit? Are we making the seeking of His face and the giving of thanks a priority and a custom in our homes daily? I fall short here, as well.
Making thankfulness a daily practice in your home can begin with simple moments: thanking God together at meals, sharing an answered prayer, or naming one blessing before bedtime. In 1 Chronicles 16:8–12, we are encouraged to give thanks, tell others what God has done, and seek His face continually. What better place to begin than with the people in our own household?
That makes me pause and consider my own habits. Do my family members hear me talk about God’s faithfulness as often as they hear me talk about my frustrations? Do we notice His care on ordinary days? I fall short here, too, but each day gives us another opportunity to pause, remember His goodness, and say thank You together.
Here's another:
O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever. And say ye, Save us, O God of our salvation, and gather us together, and deliver us from the heathen, that we may give thanks to thy holy name, and glory in thy praise. Blessed be the LORD God of Israel for ever and ever. And all the people said, Amen, and praised the LORD. 1 Chronicles 16: 34-36
Do I think about giving thanks for His goodness and mercy? How about for His holiness as stated here:
Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. Psalm 30: 4
Or what about "triumphing in His praise"? I think I am far from that, too.
Turn to Prayer and Praise Throughout the Day
Save us, O LORD our God, and gather us from among the heathen, to give thanks unto thy holy name, and to triumph in thy praise. Blessed be the LORD God of Israel from everlasting to everlasting: and let all the people say, Amen. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 106:47, 48
How often do we give God thanks and praise and affirmation? The angels in heaven around His throne continue day and night in praise of His Holiness. We should do no less. Morning, noon, and night, every day of every year of our short lives should be spent in thanksgiving and praise. I desire to be closer to that goal.
Let my mouth be filled with thy praise and with thy honour all the day. Psalm 71:8
Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous laws. Psalm 119:164
At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto thee because of thy righteous judgments. Psalm 119: 62
Instead of being like that leper who never returns to the Healer, let's join those around the throne of God and worship Him for the beauty of His Holiness and enter His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise.
Encourage Gratitude Around Your Thanksgiving Table
Your Thanksgiving table can be a welcoming place to remember God’s goodness together. Print a few of the Bible verses above and invite each person to read one, identify a reason to thank God, and share how they’ve experienced His care. You could also read the account of the ten lepers in Luke 17:11-19 and talk about what prompted the one man to return to Jesus.
Leave room for honest answers, too. Someone at your table may be carrying grief or disappointment, and listening with compassion can be part of giving thanks together. Share something you’re grateful for, and invite others to join without pressuring anyone to speak. As I think about that man returning to thank Jesus, I want to follow his example, and help my children recognize the goodness of the One we’re thanking.
Deborah Wuehler is the Senior Editor for The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, Editor of the Schoolhouse Support eNewsletter, wife to Richard and mom to seven gifts from heaven. She loves digging for buried treasure in the Word, homeschooling, and of course, dark chocolate! Email senioreditor@TheHomeschoolMagazine.com, Blog: www.HomeschoolBlogger.com/devdoordeborah
Copyright 2007, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, LLC
Originally published August 22, 2024.
