Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

You can help ground America's leaders in God's word!

6 Ways to Connect with Your Spouse Spiritually

6 Ways to Connect with Your Spouse Spiritually

Spouses strive to have a good marriage. But the hustle and bustle of daily life can often get in the way of their connection emotionally, mentally, and especially spiritually. The enemy loves nothing more than to break apart marriages. Couples must fight like never before to keep their marriages in a healthy place. But how can they do that when the distractions of life easily get in the way? One way to connect with your spouse is to try new spiritual habits that will not only refresh your marriage but also refresh your spiritual life as well. Here are six ways to connect with your spouse spiritually:

1. Pray Together

Many couples pray together. But do they pray about the deep issues lying buried within the deep recesses of their heart and mind? By sharing more deeply with each other in a safe environment, they know that sharing their issues and confidence will help bind them together as a couple and reduce the likelihood of gossiping to someone else about their issues. Strive to pray more intimately. Resist the temptation to get offended by what the other person says. Don't make it about you but rather the other person and what they need, not an assassination on who they do or what they don't do.

2. Practice Disciplines

Couples try to connect with God through reading the Word in prayer. These are vital and essential elements of a vibrant spiritual life. But have you tried other ways of communing with God? Consult a doctor and see if you can incorporate fasting into your weekly schedule. Pick an issue or cause you want to fast about and bring it to the Lord. Every time you feel a hunger pang, pray and ask God to work in wondrous ways in your situation. Have you ever tried silence and solitude? In today's culture, it is more crucial than ever for people to have times of silence and aloneness with the Lord. Strive once a month to make this a practice. Come together and discuss what you discovered about yourself or the Lord during this time. Did the Lord speak to you in a special way? Feel free to share that as a way to encourage each other in your spiritual walk.

3. Go On a Spiritual/Silent Retreat

Have you ever gone on a spiritual or silent retreat? Making a point to sit in silence for a long time will do wonders for your personal walk with the Lord and your emotional and mental well-being. This allows you to clear your mind and really focus on the issues of your heart. These issues can often get buried in the day-to-day duties of life. Taking time to clear your schedule and focus solely on the Lord will help bring to light these areas that need to be resolved and confessed before the Lord. If you have children, it may be difficult for both of you to get away at the same time. Let one take a spiritual retreat, then allow time for the other. Come together and share all the great ways the Lord spoke. If you didn't feel he spoke to you in any way, that's OK. The main goal is merely being in God's presence. He takes great delight in communing with his people and wants to be with us. Although the temptation will be to feel like you are wasting time, there is no time wasted when we spend it with the Lord.

4. Discuss the Word

Many Christians set aside time either in the morning or evening to read the Word. While this is vital for their spiritual growth, have you taken the time to study the Word? Read it in a different translation than what you are used to. Purchase an inductive Bible study Bible and strive to study the Word throughout the year rather than just read it. Make a vow to study the same passages together. Come together and discuss what you learned. Did either of you get something different out of your study? The delight in fellowship comes when each experiences the joy of the Lord's revelations through both the spoken and written Word.

5. Abstain from Sex

As Christians, we are promised trials will find us. Married couples are no different. However, two are better than one when they know how to react properly to it. Take some time to abstain from the sexual part of your relationship. Use this time to pray fervently for an issue or conflict at hand. This is especially crucial if it has to do with your marriage. Couples can feel used when they're not connecting on a deeper level, but one spouse only wants to spend time with them sexually. Taking sex off the table will help both people feel like there are valued parts of the relationship. Decide ahead of time how long you want to go you want to abstain from sex. Ask the Lord to make it clear when it is time to commune together. You may find your sex life is revitalized after a time away. God is honored in every part of our marriage, and sex is no exception. When we choose to abstain from that area of our lives to focus on the Lord and his will for our lives, it will be exponentially better when we re-convene in that way.

6. Attend Church Regularly

In years past, families made church a priority. They were present at the church both Sundays for church services and then Wednesdays for Bible study. While these activities may not look the same as they once did, the average attendee attends church once a month. This does not help them commune with God in a way that honors him and their marriage relationship. Make a point to attend church regularly. Seek to connect both with couples who are seasoned in their marriages as well as individual people with whom you can become friends. It is important to cultivate both the individualistic parts of yourself and your relationship as a couple. Do your best to listen to the sermon and spend some time discussing what you've both learned the following week. You might be amazed to find both of you got something completely different out of the message. As you discuss, ask the Lord what he might be saying to you through your spouse. Your life and marriage will be enriched because you are connecting with each other at church, listening to the message, worshipping together in Spirit, and making friends within the local church body.

Spouses try many things to connect with each other mentally, emotionally, and sexually. The one area that sometimes gets neglected is their spiritual life. When both spouses take the time to invest in both their individual spiritual lives as well as their spiritual life as a couple, they may find they have a healthier and happier marriage because they invested precious time and resources into becoming the people with Christ-like character God has made them to be.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/pcess609

Writer Michelle LazurekMichelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.