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7 Ways to Have a Quiet Time Together

We all know it is important to read the Word and pray to have a vibrant relationship with the Lord. But other disciplines like silence and solitude are more difficult to achieve each week. Additionally, not only is it hard to have a quiet time alone, it's even harder to juggle two schedules to have a quiet time together as a couple. But prayer is essential to the health of a marriage. Couples that pray together are more likely to stay together. In so doing, they also want to share intimate details about their hopes and dreams and other intimate parts of their lives with each other, creating a bond between husband and wife.

Why it's Important to Have a Quiet Time

Jesus set the example by having quiet time with God every day. "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed" (Luke 5:16). If Jesus found it was a necessary discipline to incorporate into his daily life, then we should too. He adjusted his daily schedule to include quiet time because it was a priority. It was essential to the grueling demands ministry placed on him. Here are six ways to have a quiet time together as a couple:

1. Schedule It

the biggest adjustment you'll have to make to your life will be how you spend your time. We all get the same number of hours in a day, and how we spend them matters. Figure out what works best for you. If you are a morning person, set your alarm clock one-half hour or an hour earlier. This may be tough initially, but once your body adjusts to getting up earlier, you'll find you may have more time during your day. If you still feel like you are rushing to check off the items on your to-do list, pray and ask God to multiply your time. If Jesus could multiply the loaves and fish when the disciples tried to feed the 5000, he can certainly multiply the minutes in your day, too.

2. Tithe It

Malachi 3:10 says, "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." God wants us to give the fruits of our lives to him. in the same way he rejected offerings that were less than the people's best, God will also be displeased when we give him less than our best. Vow to give God the first fruits of your time. Give 15 minutes of your time and see what happens. You may find you complete your daily to-do- list with time to spare.

3. Pray for It

If time is still a factor for you, pray and ask God if there are areas of life in which you can cut back. God can do a little with a lot. Matthew 14:19-21 says, "Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children." Ask yourself this question: What time in your day do you have that you want God to multiply into quality time with Him? For example, do you tend to eat out for breakfast or lunch because you don't prepare your meals ahead of time? With just a bit of preparation, you might be able to maximize what little time you do have. For example, you can make your lunch the night before or even freeze some for the week so you have your mornings to spare. Can you shower at night or forget the daily run to the coffee shop? Those chores may add up to blocks of time if you rearrange areas in your schedule.

4. Incentivize It

As much as we may have the best intentions, we prioritize what we are most motivated to do. If there is no incentive to have a quiet time, it is easy to tack it on to the end of a busy week. If it doesn't get done, there are no consequences (or so we think.) But the consequences damage your spiritual life, giving you a more distant relationship with God. Reward yourself. For example, if there is something you have been wanting but can't justify the extravagance or expense, make it a reward you earn if you hit the goal of having a quiet time for a week or month. It will motivate you to have the quiet time, help you establish a routine, and move you towards attaining a reward you have always wanted.

5. Give Yourself Permission

The idol of busyness can choke out quality time with God because we have deceived ourselves into thinking we have to be producing something during our time. Yet, doing nothing but being in His presence produces many things in our lives—the fruits of the spirit, and a deep relationship with God, among other things. Permit yourself to dedicate some time to Him. You may rid yourself of anxiety and have a better focus to start your day as a result.

6. Visualize It

Setting aside a large block of time may seem overwhelming, given your busy schedule. Set a timer on your phone. Start with five minutes. Who can't sit quietly for five minutes? When you visualize your goal and set an accomplishable goal, it is easier to achieve. When you get used to five minutes, slowly increase the time to ten minutes, then fifteen, until you reach your minimum time limit. It is not the quantity but the quality of your time. God will love what you give Him, as long as it is done with a grateful heart.

7. Sacrifice It

Maybe the problem isn't a lack of time but the way you use it. Can you turn off the TV at night to make time for silence? Can you quit working late and set boundaries for when the workday ends, and rest begins? People who strike a good balance between work and rest are more likely to incorporate quiet time into their schedules successfully. God doesn't want us to run ragged but do our best. Set healthy boundaries and not sacrifice time with him for other idols we may make in our schedules.

God wants to spend time with you. The question is: will you make time to spend time with Him? It may seem difficult at first, but when you make a vow to work on your relationship, God will honor the time you give him, even when it feels small. You may find God does big things in your life because you gave Him a little of you.

Photo credit: ©Unsplash/Cassidy Rowell

Video credit: ©iBelieve

Writer Michelle LazurekMichelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website

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