Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

A Marriage with No Regrets

  • Dr. John Barnett Discover the Book
  • 2008 31 May
A Marriage with No Regrets

Editor's Note: Read Part I of this series on Biblical Marriage here.

When your life is done, and you look back during those last few weeks or months that you have before cancer, or heart or respiratory problems overtake you? Will you regret the days of your marriage and family? Will you be saddened by your memories? Will you be saddened when you see what your children are doing? Or will those have been the greatest years of your life?

I think the choice is yours. Where are you headed in your marriage and as a family this morning? You will never get to anywhere you are not already headed!

What is a Biblical Marriage and Partner really Like?

There are few words that can describe the sheer delights of a marriage as God designed it to be. Marriage is to be such a wonderful attraction that seven years of hard labor and waiting is like a moment (see Jacob’s story in Genesis 29:20). Marriage as God designed it is like a fruitful vine that delightfully grows around our lives (Psalm 128:3). It is like joyful rivers of intoxicating blessings (Proverbs 5:18-19). It brings goodness and favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). It is the lifelong covenant that results from a companion of our youth (Malachi 2:14-15).

All of us who are blessed in our marriages and families can testify what God's Word describes is exactly what we have experienced. A Biblical marriage and family is just a small snapshot of the delights of Heaven. A Biblical marriage and family is a living portrait of the perfect love of Jesus. A Biblical marriage and family is a traveling demonstration of the way the Lord works on earth.

So, in the quest to foster Biblical marriages, how do we pray for our children if we are parents? And how do we direct our lives if we are young people? And how do we live together if we are married today? Or what do we look for if we are single and waiting today? Here we go, into God's Word to find all the answers from the Author and establisher of marriage. Let’s turn back to some of the first books of the Bible, Genesis, the Psalms, and Deuteronomy.

As we take a look at some of these Old Testament scriptures, pray that you, your children or your loved ones be (if you are married), become (if you are at home or single and waiting), or wait and find this kind of person (if you know God is leading you to get married).

A person who believes God designed marriage and who wants to follow His rules for a wonderful marriage. And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:18)

A person who will correspond to you. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him … Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:20, 22)

A person who will be glued to you. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) By the way, a big part of what glues a couple together is the sexual intimacy marriage provides. Have you ever licked and envelope or pulled the sealer tape, sealed it and then remembered something else and unsealed it? It doesn’t work the second or third time does it? Don’t ruin the glue of your marriage by playing with it or you will find that you are not secure in your marriage, glued together as one. Your husband or wife should be the only person you have ever experienced physical intimacy with. The first one you have loved, touched, held, and seen in any intimate way. Anything less than that will spell woes, pains, troubles, and grief for a lifetime.

A person who likes to be at home and not always running. You shall teach them [God’s commandments] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. By the way, all of those are hard to do if you don’t eat together as a family, you don’t spend time together, you don’t put them to bed, and don’t get them up. (Deuteronomy 6:7)

A person who loves children and wants to teach them.  See the verse in the previous paragraph as well as Nehemiah 8:8 - So they read distinctly from the book, in the Law of God; and they gave the sense, and helped them to understand the reading.

A person that wants a pure home. From Deuteronomy: You shall write them [God’s commandments] on the doorposts of your house and on your gates (6:9); You shall not go after other gods, the gods of the peoples who are all around you (6: 14); You shall burn the carved images of their gods with fire; you shall not covet the silver or gold that is on them, nor take it for yourselves, lest you be snared by it; for it is an abomination to the Lord your God. Nor shall you bring an abomination into your house, lest you be doomed to destruction like it. You shall utterly detest it and utterly abhor it, for it is an accursed thing. (7:25-26 ) Also, see Psalm 106.

A person who is honest and keeps their word. Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. (Psalm 15)

Next time: Dr. John Barnett discusses behaviors husbands need to avoid.

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