Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

Creating a Marriage You Love to Come Home To

  • Robert Paul Smalley Relationship Center
  • 2002 9 Nov
Creating a Marriage You Love to Come Home To

The best of the holiday season is filled with joy, laughter, and warm images of special family times. Sadly, for many, this year's holidays are filled with anything but family bliss. Many marriages are straining to the breaking point and the children's wish for Christmas is that Mommy and Daddy will love each other again. Many are praying hard for the kind miracle this season is all about - that somehow God can bring joy, warmth, and laughter back to the family that now only knows heartache and tears.

The good news is that we serve a God who is capable of such miracles. As a matter of fact, He is actively working those miracles daily. This season is meant to be a message of hope to many whose lives feel hopeless. The Lord wants to see families united in love, sharing in the gifts and blessings of this season. We, in the Smalley organization are privileged to see marriages miraculously restored on a regular basis.

One of the most frequent ways we see miracles occur is through the Smalley Relationship Center couples intensive. Some couples come to these experiences to receive a marital "tune-up", but many come in serious crisis. The divorce papers may have already been drawn up, just awaiting signatures. Couples may be currently living apart, seeing little or no hope in coming back together. They are sometimes living in icy cold silence, or may be constantly fighting. They often need a miracle as powerful as Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead in order to resurrect their marriage. Fortunately, we witness those miracles occurring in marriages so often that if the experience wasn't so consistently humbling it could easily become commonplace.

A major objective of our intensives is to help couples learn how to make their marriage a truly safe and secure place. We are not interested in putting band-aids on wounded marriages and merely helping people endure. Instead, we focus on discovering the ways in which people make the marriage feel unsafe, and then help them learn how to increase the safety and security of that relationship. Focusing on this in your marriage can immediately pay big dividends. In the end, we want couples to be thrilled with their marriages, and for their home to become their sanctuary. We help couples create a marriage that they love to come home to.

One of the benefits of increasing the safety and security in the home is that it leads to more passion, excitement and fun. Openness is what makes intimacy alive and growing. When people feel genuinely safe and secure they relax and open up. Couples find themselves wanting to let down their guard and let each other in. Plus, people are more willing to be a little daring when they believe they can take emotional risks and still end up OK. They tend to become more playful and fun-loving. They are better able to make the most of the adventure that married life presents, and generally tend to become more adventurous.

Having a broken, painful and distant relationship transform into a marriage of love and warmth and good feelings is an awesome experience. It is God's gift to the couple, and a blessing to family and loved ones. It gives evidence of God's power and His commitment to marriages and families. It is a miracle that includes the essence of what these holidays are meant to be about - joy, laughter, and warm images of special family times. We in the Smalley organization want to extend to you our warm wishes during the holidays for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. If you would like more information about our intensive programs you can check out our web site at or call us at 417-335-5882. You can also click here for more information about our Couples Intensives.