Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

Father's Day: Why The Man in Your Life Matters

  • Pam and Bill Farrel Contributing Writers
  • 2006 13 Jun
Father's Day: Why The Man in Your Life Matters

So what would dad really like for Father’s Day? A day off? A burning of the "Honey Do" list? A red sports car? All these gifts are great, but what many men want is a good dose of some appreciation -- to receive thanks for just being who God created them to be.

So what’s so great about being a guy? In our book, Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti, we explain why it’s great to be male:

1. We know stuff about tanks.

2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.

3. We can open all our own jars.

4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group.

5. We can leave a motel bed unmade.

6. We can kill our own food.

7. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

8. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.

9. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking, "He must be mad at me."

10. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

11. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

12. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

13. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

14. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.

15. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

On a more serious note, there are many things guys do that make the world a better place -- and they frequently don’t get enough credit for it. We have seen a growing epidemic of good guys getting run into the ground for not being perfect (meaning he didn’t do all the things on your list in your timing, your way.) We've known wonderful men, God-fearing men, good providers, responsible dads who come home every night only to be deflated by the one who should love them most. A wife’s sharp tongue, unrealistic expectations or demanding behaviors can take their toll on these spend-time-with-the-kids and help-make-dinner kind of men.

Sure, he's not perfect -- it's easy for both sexes to become critical as day in and day out we see all too clearly where the other falls short. Maybe he hasn’t finished the room addition yet, or the garage is a mess, or the fan light is still burned out -- or maybe the struggles are of a much more serious nature. But instead of looking at what he hasn’t done, this month, we challenge you to look at what he has done. Thank him for always coming home instead of the bar, for sleeping with you instead of someone else, for sharing his paycheck, his time, his talent and his dessert ("Really honey, I only want a bite." He knows it isn’t true, but he keeps letting you eat half his dessert year after year!). Thank him for being a good dad, a handyman, a problem solver, or any other quality you fell in love with.

To stimulate some ideas on how to thank the men in our lives, let’s look at some of the gifts God has built into them. Obviously each man is unique, but chances are, the men in your life have several of these gifts:

• Men tend to risk more than women. This willing to risk trait was a real blessing in my marriage. Years ago, when finances got tight, when our kids were little and I felt like I need to get "a job," Bill said, "No, Pam, go after your writing dream." He was willing to risk, and I will be forever grateful.

• Men are natural problem solvers. God created them in such a way that they think of one thing at a time. They like to go into a box, figure out what the problem is, assign a solution and move on. When was the last time you thanked him for fixing the computer, the DVD player, or the toilet?

• Men are great in an emergency. Men frequently have the ability to shut down their emotions to handle the task at hand. We saw it best on 9-11 when the majority of the people running into the twin towers to rescue ailing victims were males.

• Men feel family stress at a deeper level than women. You usually don’t know this because they might stuff their emotions (and later have a heart attack or stroke) instead of talking to the checker at the grocery store about their marriage issues. So, if life is less than perfect at your home, don’t confuse his inactivity for apathy, instead his emotions might be overwhelming and paralyzing him. If he is still in the house, he still cares. A wise woman will thank her husband for being present—many women would love to have a man around the house.

• Men tend to be better at spatial tasks—so there really is a reason he doesn’t stop to ask for directions!

These are just a few things to get you started. So this Father’s Day, make sure to tell your man thanks for being wonderful him!

This article was adapted from: Red Hot Monogamy (Harvest House Publishers).

Pam and Bill Farrel are international speakers and the authors of over 20 books including best-selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti and their newest, Every Marriage is a Fixer Upper. For more information on their books and ministry: 800-810-4449 or