Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

How to Help Your Spouse Grow Spiritually

How to Help Your Spouse Grow Spiritually

As a couple, you are experiencing spiritual growth when the totality of your activities follows the teachings and leading of the Holy Spirit. You are both expected to be conscious and cautious of your actions, and live a Christ-like lifestyle always.

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  • The Spiritual Calling as a Couple

    We are admonished in the book of Acts 17:27 to seek the Lord God for in him we live and move and have our existence. Though we physically live in this world, we are not of this world. And we are not limited by the ways of the world.

    Our ways of life, abilities, knowledge, and everything that makes us who we are should be geared towards the Lord. Our matrimonial lifestyle should align with the expectations of God. As a born-again couple, your body, mind, and soul should always be in tune with the Spirit of the Lord.  

    As a couple, you are experiencing spiritual growth when the totality of your activities follows the teachings and leading of the Holy Spirit. You are both expected to be conscious and cautious of your actions, and live a Christ-like lifestyle always.

    Spiritual growth starts when you both have your faith grounded in Christ, continually nurturing your faith and steadily attaining maturity in your relationship with Him.

    As Christians, we must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, according to 2 Peter 3:18.

    Why Do You Need Spiritual Growth as a Couple?

    Spiritual growth helps you attain better knowledge of the things of the Spirit. When you grow spiritually, the grace of the Lord becomes more abundant upon you as an individual and in your marriage.

    By growing spiritually, your faith in Christ also increases tremendously. It then becomes easier for you to overcome challenges in your individual lives and in your marriage. Spiritual growth endows you with uncompromising faith and confidence in Christ Jesus.

    Your level of self-control and godliness are enhanced as you strive to attain spiritual maturity. You also develop a heightened sense of love, compassion, and kindness towards your spouse and everyone around you as you grow spiritually.

    Spiritual growth helps you to achieve divine tranquility. Life begins to make more sense to you as you grow in spirit, and you will have peace of mind that's reflected in your marriage as well. Instead of being constantly worked up by life problems, they will inspire you. They will draw you even closer to God, and you will learn to appreciate every good gift, especially your spouse.

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    What Hinders or Deters Spiritual Growth?

    As much as you would like to grow spiritually as a couple, there are a few things you must avoid in order to achieve this goal. Take note of these major hindrances to spiritual growth and determine if any, or all, of these factors play an unhealthy role in your personal life, impacting your spiritual goals as a husband or wife: 

    First, disconnect yourself and your spouse from ungodly associations (Psalm 1:1). Those friends of yours who do not share your passion for godliness should be avoided at all costs. They will always be a distraction to you. This includes your hypocritical friends and neighbors who only profess Christianity but are not spiritually inclined. These are the kinds of "friends" mentioned in Hebrews 3:12-13.

    Your spiritual growth can also be deterred when you neglect quality time with God. When you cannot take the time from your daily schedules to meditate on the words of God, your mind will be preoccupied with too many distractions and you will not be in tune with the frequency of the Holy Spirit. This will also create room in your heart for negative and vain thoughts.

    Pride and ego are also poisoning your spiritual growth. God hates pride, and the Spirit of the Lord does not dwell in a proud person. Proverbs 16:5 says, "The Lord despises all the proud of heart."  And destruction awaits the proud of heart. To grow spiritually as a couple, you must let humility become your way of life.

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  • How Can You Help Your Spouse Grow Spiritually?

    Always Carve Out Time to Meditate on the Word of God

    The best way to feed your soul and spirit is by studying the Word of God. Daily meditation on the Word of God helps to nourish the spirit. It is a perfect medium through which the Holy Spirit can minister to you and in your marriage.

    Couples can get carried away by their daily schedules, jobs, and domestic chores, and they barely have the time to study the Bible. Sometimes, you might have to deal with so many distractions from the kids. And by nightfall, you're exhausted and eventually fall asleep. The next day you repeat the same routine. It's good that you try to fulfill your duty as parent and spouse, but you also need to rekindle your spiritual flame with God.

    Try to reorganize your tasks and lend a helping hand to your spouse to lighten their tasks too so that you can help them carve out free time to meditate on God's Word. During this free time, you should study the Bible together, pray, and let the Holy Spirit minister to you and your spouse.

    Encourage Your Spouse's Faith  

    Another way you can help your spouse grow spiritually is to encourage them during a difficult time by inspiring their faith in the Lord. When your spouse has to deal with any problem at work, business, or home, remind them that trials and tribulations are a test of faith. Refer them to various instances in the Bible where the faith of the believers was tested and how they overcame by remaining steadfast.

    Also, learn to speak positive, scripture-inspired words of faith in the life of your spouse during difficult times. Refer to various scriptural verses that will stimulate their faith in God.

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    Help Them Discover and Nurture Their Spiritual Talents

    It is of utmost importance that you discover your spiritual talents. Also, help your spouse identify theirs. You must be observant to figure out the unique spiritual gift you and your spouse possess. Everyone who is born-again and in tune with the Holy Spirit receives a special gift that makes them a unique game-changer for the Kingdom of God. Galatians 5:22 mentions some of these gifts.

    When you identify your spouse's gift, you must help them nurture it so that they can properly utilize it to the glory of God. Encourage them in this gift by showcasing, and calling out, the strengths you see in their spiritual walk. Thank them when you notice they offer gifts to the poor or extend leadership and service to unbelievers. This way, they can feel confident in your support as they grow in Christ.

    Make Godliness Your Habit and Keep Good Company

    We were duly warned in the books of 1 Corinthians 15:33 not to be misled, and that bad company corrupts good character.

    As a true believer, you should be mindful of what you do. Mind the kinds of friends you keep. And most importantly, you should look out for your spouse. Discourage them from getting involved with friends, co-workers, or neighbors who try to engage them in ungodly activities. This doesn't mean you scold your spouse as you would your child, but this means it's time for an open, honest, respectful conversation about the company they keep. 

    “Do not be equally yoked with unbelievers,” says 2 Corinthians 6:14. Rather than being sucked into the ungodly lifestyles of your friends, co-worker, and neighbors, you should influence them to be upright by setting good examples.

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  • Pray with and for Them at All Times

    1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 admonishes us to pray without ceasing. And in the book of 1 John 5:14, we are assured that if we ask anything according to the will of God, he will hear us. This proves that praying does open doors for believers, including married believers.

    Encouraging your spouse to pray, praying for them, and with them at all times, will go a long way to boost their spiritual development. It will also unlock so many breakthroughs for your home and keep you both closer to God. As husbands and wives, you must understand that you have a significant role in the overall growth of your spouse. You succeed when your spouse succeeds, and you fail when they fail.

    It is your responsibility as a wife or a husband to support your spouse spiritually and help them attain their full potential. Both of you are obligated by God to sharpen one another as iron sharpens iron, Proverbs 27:17.

    However, a word of caution: as you prioritize the spiritual development of your spouse, don't neglect your own spiritual growth. Continue with your Bible readings and worship time. This doesn't mean you have to participate in these spiritual practices solo, but it does mean that you are still called to nurture your faith with God. 

    Perhaps a couple's small group, Sunday school class, or a Christian volunteer program is a great way for both of you to be spiritually fed, yet enjoy this time of growth together. 

    Emmanuel Abimbola headshotEmmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.