1. Let Go of the Unrealistic Expectation That You Will Agree on Everything
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Sitting over dinner one evening, I tried a hundred different ways to explain my point. My husband just didn’t get it. I could feel the tension. The more I tried to make him understand, the thicker the wall grew between us. I just wanted him to see it my way. Is that so wrong?
It’s true that we need to be “equally yoked” with our spouse by putting our faith in Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14). Beyond that, the reality is we will have many things we won’t agree on. Thinking otherwise will only lead to disappointment.
Placing unrealistic expectations on the relationship sends the message that I will never be satisfied with his efforts. It can also undermine his confidence in his own opinions. Our husbands don’t always have to see it our way, and we shouldn’t try to force it. Instead, let’s pray our husband will never say, “Yes dear,” just because he thinks that’s what we want to hear.
When we realize it’s okay to disagree, we’re showing how much we care about him over our own opinions.
2. Resist the Temptation to Withdraw
When we disagree about something, I’m tempted to withdraw. I put distance between us by retreating to the other room or sitting in silence. Sometimes, it's out of fear of being vulnerable, or sometimes it's even out of wanting to punish him.
But--I can show respect by drawing closer in the moment rather than separating myself from him.
Withdrawing can also lead to the more dangerous trap of withholding love and affection. Can I let you in on a secret, from one imperfect wife to another? I get irritated by even the slightest conflict. But I’ve discovered a way to replace the urge to roll my eyes.
A simple hand-touch or even a hug will show him you value him and your marriage, whether you agree or not.
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