2. Conversations in Marriage about Sex Are Necessary and Good
Because shame so often surrounds sex, it makes talking about it with our spouses hard. If we waited until marriage for sex, even years into marriage we may still wrestle with embarrassment or confusion over sexual desires. Or, because of past sexual experiences we may still carry hurt, regret, rejection, manipulation, abuse, guilt and shame. Any of these feelings left unaddressed build up barriers in marriage, both in the bedroom and outside of it.
Just as the infrequency of sex in marriage will create problems, so will neglecting to talk about it. But in pushing past the awkward, we may actually draw nearer to our spouse. And in the process learn better how to please and serve each other, which reflects and displays the image of God.
3. Sex Is Defined by God, Not Culture
At a recent youth ministry conference, pastors from around the country said the most pressing issue they deal with in their ministries is sex. Not just the ever-pertinent question, “How far is too far?” though certainly dating relationships and premarital sex is included.
But to an even greater degree, questions and confusion over gender issues, sexual identity, and same-sex attraction. In many cases this is not just youth group kids asking for a friend, but churched kids struggling themselves to see disordered desires as sin. They know what the Bible says, but struggle to believe God’s word is authoritative and still relative today.
The changing sexual ethics that have swept over our country have infiltrated the church. Christians too have bought into the notion that everyone deserves to be who they feel they are and have all their desires met.
To this end, we’ve made man his own god and truth relative to our own experience.
What we need is a worldview reorientation to see all of life through the lens of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration.
From a biblical worldview we see distorted desires are effects of the Fall, not an identity to embrace. And as with all sin we are called to deny ourselves, putting to death our fleshly desires. The fact that this is hard—and that we struggle to live pure and holy or even want to—points to our need to live in daily reliance on a Savior.
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