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Christian Relationships and Marriage Resources

Making Your Wife Feel Important

  • Dr. Gary Smalley The Smalley Relationship Center
  • 2002 19 Dec
Making Your Wife Feel Important
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word . . .” Ephesians 5:25, 26

Sandy was so sexually responsive to her husband, Rick, one afternoon that he was stunned and surprised by her excitement. How did Rick motivate her? With one very simple statement. He was getting ready for work that morning, running a little late, when he heard Sandy complaining of a growing neckache.

“Let me rub your neck,” he offered.

“No, you don’t have time,” she replied. “You’ve got to get to work.”

His usual response would have been, ”Yeah, your right. I don’t want to be late. But I hope you feel better. Take an aspirin.”

On this particular morning, he said, “I tell you what. I’d rather be with you any day. Let me rub your neck.” As he gently massaged her tender muscles, he continued, “Work can wait . . . You’re more important to me.” She was so thrilled with his attitude and so encouraged by his sensitivity and gentleness that she could hardly resist giving herself to him in every way.

We men are not aware of the effect we have on our wives by being gentle and tender, showing our unshakable devotion.

Do you want a more enjoyable marriage? It’s possible, and it all starts by loving your wife more than any other person or activity.

Here are a few questions you can ask your wife to open up a discussion concerning her real feelings about the place she shares in your life:

1. Do you feel you are the most important person in my life?

2. Are there any activities in my life you feel are more important to me that you are?

3. Are there any special ways you believe I could better communicate how important you are to me?

The more you do to build a valuable, healthy relationship, the better you’ll feel about your marriage. If you change any of your activities because you want to enrich your relationship, at first you may feel you’re giving up your favorite pastime. But in the long run, you’ll not only gain a better marriage, but a greater freedom to enjoy other areas of life. Today, I wouldn’t trade my deep friendship with Norma for anything on this earth. I am finding that the more important a man’s wife is to him, the more she encourages him to enjoy life.