Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

7 Ways We Know God Is the Author of Romance

7 Ways We Know God Is the Author of Romance

“Somehow, in the romantic world of music and theater, we have made love to be what it is not. We have so mixed it with beauty and charm and sensuality and contact that we have robbed it of its higher call of cherishing and nurturing.” ~Ravi Zacharias

There is no nice way to say this. We are being lied to.

Almost every time we turn on the television, we see romance being displayed in unhealthy, unholy ways. Hollywood’s depiction of romance has led us to believe that everything done in the name of “love” is acceptable and good. Unfortunately, this view of love and romance has blurred the lines of what it means for married couples to honor, cherish, and truly enjoy one another.

God—not Hollywood—is the Author of romance. The Lord of all creation, in Whom there is no darkness at all, gave the gift of romance to be enjoyed by husbands and wives, within the loving, committed context of marriage.

Here are 7 ways we know God is the Author of romance:

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1. God Cares about Companionship

1. God Cares about Companionship

But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:20-23

From the very beginning, God recognized the importance of companionship in marriage. For the first man, Adam, only Eve could fulfill the beautiful role of wife, helper, friend, and lover. Our loving Creator fashioned the first husband and wife to be bound together in oneness—the oneness that comes from commitment and companionship.

Romance begins with companionship. It involves quality and quantity time together. It incorporates intimate discussions that go beyond the surface. And, it involves walking through every season together—no matter what difficulties arise.

A prayer for companionship in your marriage:

Lord, please bless every person reading this, and help them to cultivate true companionship in their marriage. Help them to slow down and take the time necessary to invest in their spouse. Thank You for creating the marriage union and being the Author of romance. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet? Amos 3:3

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2. God Cares about Faithfulness

2. God Cares about Faithfulness

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire, a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it. If a man would give for love all the wealth of his house, it would be utterly despised. Song of Solomon 8:6-7

Romance flourishes under the protective umbrella of faithfulness! When both husband and wife are completely secure in their relationship, they are free to enjoy one another without fear or hindrance. Love becomes uninhibited when trust is developed.

Even the Lord Himself loves with a jealous kind of love. Anything that steals the affections of His beloved is like adultery to Him. With this in mind, know that God cares about faithfulness—faithfulness to Him and to each other.

Here are 5 Powerful Precautions for Faithfulness in Marriage.

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3. God Cares about Connection

3. God Cares about Connection

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. Colossians 3:12-13

Many of us find it easy to bond with our beloved pets, our children, and our best friends. But when it comes to bonding in marriage, we tend to either neglect it or ignore it. By the end of the day, we feel all “bonded” out and end up giving our spouses the left-overs of our affections.

However, a big part of romance is being connected. Without connection, romance becomes more of a duty than a pleasure. If your marriage has fallen into routine complacency, try these everyday tips to cultivate more connection in your marriage:

 - Hold hands while watching T.V.

 - Cuddle on the couch without any expectation of sex.

 - Eat meals together without any distractions.

 - Take walks together.

 - Dance in the living room.

 - Pray together.

Author Greg Smalley talks about the importance of Spiritual connection in marriage as well. He says, “One study found that couples who shared the same faith, and who regularly attended church services together, reported a higher level of marital satisfaction. And when couples shared religious practices at home, their level of marital satisfaction was even higher.”

It is important for married couples to connect, not only physically and emotionally, but spiritually as well.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:14 

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4. God Cares about Mutual Submission

4. God Cares about Mutual Submission

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Ephesians 5:22-23

Please don’t let the word submission cause you to bristle. It’s not a derogatory term that indicates a subservient stance. It’s actually a wonderful practice of yielding to one another in love.

Believe it or not, romance often follows loving acts of submission. When our spouses see that we don’t always have to get our way; when they notice that we are putting their needs first; and when they feel highly valued, deep feelings of romance are kindled.

If the idea of submission has been a negative concept to you, here is more about The Goal of Submission in Marriage. Remember, submission was designed for the good of mankind—first to the Lord and then to each other.  

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21

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5. God Cares about Nurturing

5. God Cares about Nurturing

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28

Even if the practice of nurturing isn’t one of your strengths, it is a characteristic that is essential to a healthy marriage. Without it, couples can become calloused towards one another and take each other for granted.

Here are some ways to promote romance by focusing on the nurturing aspect of marriage.

  • Touch one another often.

Physical touch shouldn’t only occur during sexual intimacy. It should be incorporated with regular hugs, hand holding, and everyday, natural contact.

  • Try to meet one of your spouse’s needs every day.

Even small acts of kindness can make all the difference. Clean out his car. Do the grocery shopping for her. Whatever it is—no matter how small—make it a daily practice to nurture your spouse by meeting a specific need.

  • Speak kind words to each other.

Comment on how pretty she looks. Point out how appreciative you are of his hard work. Go beyond the surface and have meaningful conversations with each other.

The bottom line is: a nurtured wife will feel loved and cherished. Likewise, a nurtured husband will feel respected and valued. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of anything more romantic!

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6. God Cares about Intimacy

6. God Cares about Intimacy

But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Mark 10:6-9

For some, the thought of intimacy makes them uncomfortable. They may feel confused or put off by what they’ve experienced in the past or seen through the media. The thing to remember is that God—not Hollywood— is the Author of romance. He created intimacy as a beautiful and sacred union between husband and wife. There isn’t anything wrong or unholy about it.

In this post, Rekindling Intimacy, author Juli Slattery reminds us, “Within marriage, you have the opportunity to reclaim and redeem the beautiful gift of sexual intimacy.” She goes on to explain that if couples don’t fight for intimacy in marriage, it will likely remain a source of conflict and division.

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled. Hebrews 13:4

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7. God Cares about Honor

7. God Cares about Honor

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Romans 12:9-10

The romance God has authored is sincere and honorable. It is not fake or pretentious. It is not uncomfortable or unholy. It offers preference to one another and delights in honoring one another above self. What beautiful descriptions of Godly romance!

Wives, here are some meaningful ways you can Honor and Respect Your Husband

Husbands, here are 15 Real Ways to Honor Your Wife.

Don’t let another day go by without addressing romance issues within your marriage. Take your concerns to the Lord and ask for wisdom. Discuss romance with your spouse. Ask thought-provoking questions and take the time to listen. Hollywood doesn’t get the last word when it comes to romance. God has written the beginning from the end. He is the Author of romance!

Jennifer Waddle is best known for words of encouragement as an Author, Speaker and Musician for Women’s Ministry. She currently has three published books on Amazon and is a regular contributor for and Jennifer is committed to sharing authentic messages of hope to women of all walks of life. She loves being a wife of 24 years, mom of four, and nana of two. Most of all, she cherishes her time spent in the Word of God, with a cup of coffee and a beautiful view of the Rocky Mountains. Contact Jennifer here: or

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