2. Beware of Resentment
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While the end of the honeymoon phase does not necessarily mean the end of a happy marriage, the transition from puppy love to enduring love does not always occur smoothly.
As the newness of marriage wears off, circumstances and roles change, and annoying living habits or personality traits emerge, it is easy to find yourself trapped in growing resentment. Again, while these challenges are certainly common within marriage, they can become poisonous to your relationship if left to fester.
In Ephesians 4, Paul provides the church at Ephesus with tools for growing in maturity and unity as a body. This passage is full of exhortations that are relevant for the same type of change that is desirable within marriage. It talks of the importance of patience, forbearance, forgiveness, kindness, controlling one’s tongue--virtues that are produced naturally through the work of the Holy Spirit within the heart of a believer.
Most importantly, it points to Christ as both the example and the power behind our transition from a relationship characterized by erratic affection to one that is strong and steadfast.
“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” Ephesians 4:14-16
Envision your marriage as a reflection of this hope for the body of Christ: a seasoned team of diverse individuals, secure in their love for each other because of their trust in the Lord as the author and leader of their union.
Accepting that it's normal for the honeymoon phase to pass, and then forgiving your spouse for not being perfect (as you realize you are not perfect either) will prevent resentment from building up, and tossing you back and forth by the waves.
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