Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

Wives - Give Your Husbands a Break!

  • Pam and Bill Farrel Contributors
  • Updated Jun 12, 2007
Wives - Give Your Husbands a Break!

In our new DVD curriculum for Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti we have a hilarious drama depicting a wife chattering on and on. Her husband tries to listen but he gets a bit distracted thinking of a few of a man’s favorite things: a big truck, a big TV, and a big burger. With Father's Day coming up, I’d like to ask, “So what’s wrong with that?”


Men and women process stress differently. Women talk their way through stress, but men like to go to their favorite easy “boxes” to rest and recharge. When you look at a battery in a recharger, what does it look like that battery is doing? Nothing. But it is doing something: it is recharging! Men need recharge time and if we women give it, our men will love us for it!

Men go to several "boxes" to recharge. Think of a waffle's design - it's made up of many little boxes within one big square. Ladies, here’s one way to recognize the recharger boxes in your mens' lives. Most of them are, in fact, are shaped like boxes:

  • The TV
  • The computer
  • The newspaper
  • The garage
  • The refrigerator
  • The football field
  • The basketball court
  • The bed

That bed box is a favorite for husbands under stress. It is a lot like that “free” space on a bingo card, and a husband can get there from every other square on his waffle!

Does the desire for a man to recharge mean he doesn’t care when a wife or a family is under stress? Sometimes women mistake a man's blank gaze at the computer or TV screen as complacency or apathy, but actually, the opposite is more true. Studies show that when a family is under pressure, men actually feel the stress at a deeper level than women. However, it might not appear to be so because when a woman is under stress she talks about it. When a man is under stress he often pushes down his emotions — and if he doesn’t share them, he can have a heart attack or stroke!

So this month, at least on Father’s Day, try a few things to bless the man in your world:

  • Give him permission to enjoy a “favorite easy box”: TV, fishing, even playing a computer game.
  • Take him out for his favorite meal and listen to him talk instead of having him listening to you talk.
  • Thank him. Nothing lowers your stress like feeling appreciated.
  • Do something active that he enjoys. Ward off heart attack and stroke with a little physical activity (Wives, remember the “Bingo box!”)
  • Let him be right. For just one day (at least) say things like, “What ever you’d like, Dear” or “What a great idea!”  It is relaxing to be valued and respected.
  • Laugh together. The Bible says, “A joyful heart is good medicine ...“ (Proverbs 17:22).

Here's something radical -- try a few of these ideas on the other 364 days of the year.

Pam and Bill Farrel are international speakers , authors of more than 25 books including the best selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. Order the new DVD on Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti, for your own marriage or for your small group or church: