Lessons I Have Learned from the Mothers in My Life
- Vivian Bricker Contributing Writer
- Published Jul 26, 2023
Most of us have been blessed with a mother and/or mother figures. My mom passed away many years ago when I was a teenager. If you lost your mom at a young age, you know how painful it can be. Often, we think of our moms as being indestructible, only to discover they are humans just like us. There are many lessons we can learn from our moms and the mom figures in our lives.
Just be you.
My mom taught me to be me. As a kid, I had a hard time making friends, and I tried to be whatever anyone wanted them to like me. Unfortunately, I kept this same mentality with me up until college. I wanted to have friends so much that I became like them in order for them to accept me. If you have also done this, you know it only works until it doesn’t. You can’t fake being someone you’re not for your entire life. You have to be you.
My mom taught me this lesson when I was in elementary school, and it is something I have reflected upon recently in my adult years. Rather than trying to be a chameleon and turn into whatever people wanted me to be, I need to learn to be me and be okay with it. Maybe I’m not cool, popular, or know how to merge on the highway without scaring everyone in the car, but I’m still me. The same goes for you—you are you, and there is nobody like you. You are altogether amazing and uniquely you (Psalm 139:13-16).
If you have struggled with being yourself out of fear of what others will think, then these individuals are not your real friends. Real friends like you for you. They don’t want you to change to be like them. Rather, they love your uniqueness and your company. Try to be yourself and allow those who like for you to be your friends. It’s exhausting to try to be someone you’re not, and it is not something I advise. Follow my mom’s teaching and just be you.
Be a friend to everyone.
This lesson still rings true in my adult life as I try to be friendly, kind, and a friend to everyone. My mom used to tell my sisters and me we should be friends with everyone, even the people who might seem weird or strange. This was challenging to a kid because nobody wanted to be known to be a friend to the weird person in class; but as an adult, I understood the lesson my mom was trying to teach my sisters and me.
It is a beautiful thing to be a friend to others, especially to those who have no friends. As someone now who has difficulty discerning who my real friends are, I think of how nice it would be to have someone who would be a friend to me despite all my flaws and health issues. Ever since I opened up and shared, I struggled with anorexia, depression, and anxiety, many people who I thought were my friends distanced themselves from me. While I can understand being a friend to someone with as many issues as I have is difficult, it would have been nice if there was someone who stayed my friend despite my health issues.
There is nothing wrong with asking for help.
The dean of women at my Bible University was a mother figure in my life. She was always so kind, helpful, and loving. When I cried or was overwhelmed by what was happening, she stood by my side and supported me. This was so kind and sweet of her to do, and she never seemed to be resentful or get annoyed by my endless tears. Rather, she was full of love, patience, and grace.
She taught me there is nothing wrong with asking for help. This is a truth we all need to learn because we all need help sometimes. I had been raised in a family where we needed to be self-sufficient, and asking for help was a sign of incompetence. Instead of asking for help, we were encouraged to figure things out for ourselves. While I understand the motivation behind this message, it’s important to know it’s okay to ask for help too.
I am thankful the dean of women at my Bible University taught me this lesson because I have been applying it ever since. I am no longer afraid of asking for help at the doctor’s office, my therapist's office, or from loved ones. If no one has ever told you it’s okay to ask for help, please understand that it’s okay. It is a sign of great strength to ask for help. This lesson has helped me in so many ways, and hopefully, it will help you also.
You are worthy of a beautiful life.
Another mom figure ant in my life taught me I am worthy of a beautiful life. It took me time to fully believe this, but since accepting it, I know I am worthy of a beautiful life. My mind frame in the past was that I didn’t deserve good things to happen to me, and my life would always be sadness, pain, and fear. It wasn’t until this mother figure in my life told me I was worthy of having a beautiful life that I even thought of the possibility of having a better life.
In the same way, you, too, are worthy of a beautiful life. No matter what you are going through, God has a great plan for your life. You are worthy of a beautiful life filled with love, joy, and compassion. If you have ever doubted this, know these doubts are not warranted. You are worthy of the life God wants you to live, and this life is not lacking in any way. Jesus died for you to have abundant life, and this life starts now (John 10:10).
Challenge any thoughts that tell you otherwise. If your thoughts say you aren’t worthy of a beautiful life, talk back to them. Remind them of Jesus’ love for you and the wonderful plans He has for your future. The Lord didn’t die for us to suffer and be miserable our entire lives. We will have hardships and difficult times, but nowhere does God tell us that we are doomed to have a life of misery. God loves you, and you are so worthy of a beautiful life filled with adventures, support, and love. Never doubt this for a minute.
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