Why You Should Start Praying for Your Child's Future Spouse Now
- Rhonda Stoppe Speaker and Author
- 2017 15 May
When my son Brandon finished singing in his kindergarten pageant, he looked for me in the audience. As I cheered wildly for my adorable little five-year-old all decked out in his red cardigan sweater, he found me in the crowd, smiled, and gave me a wink. You can imagine how this momma’s heart melted at Brandon’s sweet gesture. (Anyone else need a tissue? I just shared this story on Crosswalk Radio and even now–over 20 years later–I can’t help but cry when I tell it!)
Brandon is now grown, but over the years as a musician, whenever I was in the audience he would find me at the end of the performance and give me a little wink.
When Brandon got hired to tour with some well-known Christian bands he moved to Nashville––a long ways from our California home. His move meant I had little opportunity to sit in the audience and cheer for him. While thankful for the opportunities God had afforded Brandon, not seeing him do what God had raised him up to do wasn’t easy–as you can imagine.
It Just Felt Like Home
In college Brandon fell deeply in love with Jessy. It was fun to watch our boy be smitten with this lovely young woman.
At one point, Brandon had broken up with Jessy when he was going to be moving away from her––believing it wasn't fair to ask her to wait for him or try to keep up a long distance relationship.
However, in the time the two were apart, when Brandon should have been happy about the amazing opportunities he was enjoying as a musician, all he could think about was how he wished he could share his excitement with Jessy.
One day, when Brandon could no longer bare being apart from Jessy, he called her on the phone. Later when Brandon described to me how he felt when he heard Jessy’s voice after six months of separation, he said, “Momma. I don’t know how to explain it. When I heard her voice it just felt like… home.”
From the day Brandon was born, my husband and I had prayed for the Lord to prepare for Brandon a godly wife. In that instant, when Brandon said she felt like home, I thought, She’s the one we’ve been praying for since the day Brandon was born. Jessy is the one God has been preparing for Brandon.
Once Brandon reached out to Jessy, they both agreed they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. It wasn’t long before they wed.
Watching your child fall in love is a delightful experience. When they follow the Lord’s leading to marry someone who helps them follow Christ, there’s just nothing like realizing that answered prayer!
One of the hardest things as a parent is that sometimes God calls our kids to move away, so we don’t get to watch the everyday-ness of them building their lives together. That’s what happened with Jessy and Brandon.
I was delighted when Jessy moved to Nashville to begin their married life together. Just knowing Brandon had his lovely bride by his side, encouraging and inspiring him to be the man God was calling him to be, was a joy to this momma’s heart.
However, with the newlyweds living so far away. it hurt my heart to know I was not catching glimpses of them enjoying their new life as husband and wife. But I took comfort in knowing God had blessed Brandon with an absolute treasure in Jessy, and she would be an incredible source of joy for my boy.
He Winks at Her Now
One day, I received a text from Haley, a woman I know who lives in Nashville. She said she had been reading my book Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, and the night before had read the account of Brandon winking at me after his kindergarten performance.
That particular Sunday morning when Haley sent the text, she had found herself seated behind Jessy while Brandon was up on stage playing guitar with the worship band. As Haley remembered the story from my book, she snapped a picture of the back of Jessy’s head looking toward Brandon on stage. Haley’s text read, “He winks at her now.”
Immediately my tears began to fall. Not tears of sorrow over Brandon’s transfer of affections. Not at all. Rather, I shed tears of joy that God had blessed my son with an amazing wife who now captured his adoration. Now she was the source of his encouragement and inspiration. And yes, he winks at her now is the answer to our prayers for Brandon so many years ago.
How Should You Pray?
What about you? Do you pray for God to prepare your child to be a godly spouse? And do you pray for the Lord to even now begin protecting and preparing a spouse for them that will help them pursue Christ for the rest of their lives?
All too often, we pray for God to give our kids someone who will love them and take care of them, but we are remiss if we do not pray specifically for God to bring them a fellow Believer whose love for Christ far exceeds their love for anyone or anything else in this life.
When you pray, ask God to bring your child a spouse who will:
- Love Christ more than they love your child
- Help your child follow Christ with his plans, dreams and talent
- Love him with God’s unconditional love
- Bring him encouragement and joy
Remember, waiting to pray until your child is involved in a less-than Christ honoring dating relationship is not wise. Rather pray for God to guard your child’s heart and guide them to fall in love with someone who is in love with Jesus.
Notice I’m not saying pray they marry a Christian. Many self-proclaimed Christians don’t live the life once they marry. But praying for God to make your child a passionate Christ follower, and lead him to marry one who is too, is what will bring blessing.
It’s Never Too Late
It’s never too early––or too late––to begin praying for your child’s spouse. We have four adult children, all of whom we prayed diligently for godly spouses. Our eldest son was 15 when he came to our family, but God answered our prayers even as they began later in his life.
If you don’t stand in prayer for your kids’ future spouse, who will?
Father please guide our children to be lovers of You and then lovers of others. Lead our kids to spouses who passionately pursue Christ for Your Kingdom and Your glory. Amen.
Rhonda Stoppe is the NO REGRETS WOMAN. With more than 30 years experience of helping women live life with no regrets.
Rhonda Stoppe’s book MOMS RAISING SONS TO BE MEN is mentoring thousandsof moms to guide sons toward a no-regrets life. Her new book IF MY HUSBAND WOULD CHANGE I’D BE HAPPY-And Other Myths Wives Believe (Harvest House Publishers) is helping countless women build no-regrets marriages. As a pastor’s wife, speaker, and author, Rhonda has helped women to:
- Discover significance and purpose for their lives
- Impact the moral fiber of the next generation by raising children with integrity
- Find victory over people-pleasing
- Experience a No Regrets Marriage
- Build an incredible legacy
- Become more influential than they ever dreamed possible