4. Seek Wise Counsel
Slide 4 of 4
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14
My husband and I have had some difficult moments in our parenting; considering that our children are still young I assume that different challenges will come our way as our children grow.
As we wade out into what often feels like unknown waters we can take heart in remembering that we have a wealth of resources available to us. From our extended family, to our church community, to parenting resources and advocates in our children’s schools, we know that we are not alone in tackling difficult issues.
When grappling with the discourse in our home caused by sibling conflict I’ve reached out to trusted friends and advisors who have already walked those paths. I’ve asked for advice, prayer and examples of how to diffuse conflict between my children. Some of their advice has been rock-solid, and other times it hasn’t worked for my kids.
It helps to remember our children’s individuality, and to parent accordingly. I know now that my daughter needs completely different consequences than my son, and I know that sometimes their fights begin because she just wants to be in his company, whereas he needs more alone time.
Knowing our children and helping them know themselves and each other can also help build healthy relationships and develop tools for getting along better as siblings.
At the end of the day we need to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect child, nor is being a perfect parent possible. We are all being developed in this life. I know that God is constantly working on me and my children.
If we can point our children back to Christ and encourage them to love each other, then we are doing our best as parents. There will be difficult days, today might be one for you, yesterday was one for me.
Nonetheless, if we can hit pause when our own frustrations and fatigue rise and open our hands and hearts to God’s prompting in our lives we can become great examples for our children. Often, I need my children to witness how their fighting breaks my heart.
I need to let them see me cry, I don’t allow myself these emotions because I want to manipulate my children, but rather I want them to know how much I love them and how much God loves them, and that when they choose conflict it grieves not just my heart but also the heart of God.
Finally, we as parents have an opportunity to invite our children into experiencing redemption first-hand. When fight ensues and conflict arises we get to work together to solve issues here and now, but I think my favorite part of resolution comes when we pray together and ask God for forgiveness, for correction and for self-discipline to avoid fights.
This is the beauty of walking in faith and sharing that with our children.
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