Christian Singles & Dating

Five Keys to Contentment

Five Keys to Contentment

For this article on contentment, I wanted to share this wonderful email I got from a reader:


I struggled for 20 years with being single. I wanted God's will, but I wanted so desperately to get married. I could not understand why God would not give me a husband if He loved me. There were five basic things that God taught me through my struggle that have been an encouragement to me:


1. Sovereignty of God
Through the testimony, writings, and messages of Elisabeth Elliot, God began to show me that He is sovereign. He showed me that I am single by the sovereignty of God. God has chosen for me to be single, at least for now.


2. Complete in Him
Colossians 2:10asays, "And ye are complete in Him." My significance is in Christ, not in whether or not I have a husband. I cannot find my significance in another person. I must find that significance in the Lord of the Universe who loves me more than anyone else ever could.


3. He will meet my needs
God taught me that He is the source of all that I have or need. Even if I were married I must look to God to supply my needs -- not my husband. God has been my spiritual leader making me rely totally on Him. The Lord has become my husband (Isaiah 54:5).


4. God loves me
God began to show me that He does love me. He sent His Son to die on the Cross for my sins. Jeremiah 29:11encouraged me that God did have a plan for my life and it was not an evil plan. He wanted to give me peace. All I needed was to trust Him (Isaiah 26:3). It amazes me that God -- who knows me best -- loves me most and wants an intimate relationship with me.


5. Encourage other struggling singles
In 1994 God showed me that I was clinging so tightly to the dream of marriage that I could not open my hands and reach out to be a blessing to anyone else.


I am truly content with being single. I never would have guessed that I could ever be happy being single, but I am realizing how much God loves me. My desire now is to love the Lord with all of my heart, soul and might (Deut. 6:5) and work on developing a close relationship with Him.

I am burdened for single women who think they have to get married to be happy. (And I get so frustrated when I hear someone say "if you want a husband, just pray and God will give you one." That is not necessarily true.) I try to encourage single women to trust God with this area of their life and allow Him to love them.

~ Your sister in Christ


Copyright Lori Smith, 2000 – 2003


Lori Smith lives in northern VA where she frequents a local ballet studio, hikes in the Shenandoahs, and throws the occasional pity party.  Find more of her writing and preview The Single Truth at