How Singles Can Have Way More Fun on Dates
- Liz Lampkin Contributing Writer
- 2021 15 Jan
The art of dating and fun is one that seems to have slightly faded into the shadow of finding and securing the perfect person for marriage.
In fact, courtships and the ability to actively date have gained a sordid reputation. Many may say this is due to the belief that there are not enough quality men or women to have viable and productive relationships with, therefore resulting in a panic rush to find “the one”.
Not only has it seemingly created an unwanted anxiety, but it's created a frenzy in some to secure a lifelong commitment by any means. Some may even argue that the fun of dating has morphed into a competitive sport.
Many people have also associated premarital intercourse with dating and it’s often an expectation that can add unwanted pressure that takes away from the entire purpose and the joy of dating. God’s intentions for dating are the total opposite from the expectations the world has set.
The purpose of dating is to get to know someone for who they are in an effort to see if you’re compatible with them to begin a Christian courtship that honors Him and sets an example for others. Not only can dating lead to courtships, but those courtships can lead to godly marriages.
We all know that God is love, He loves us, has wonderful plans for our lives and wants us to experience every joyful aspect of life through Him.
Taking the time to get to know other godly people through dating and courtship is an amazing way to find out the kind of person God wants you to marry. Whether or not you meet the one He has for you immediately or along the way (if marriage is in His Will for you), enjoy the journey with God as your guide every step of the way.
As you gear up for a season of healthy dating check out some of the tips listed below to ensure you’re experiencing all the joy that comes along with it.
1. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Before going on your next date agree to do something neither of you have done before.
There’s nothing more exciting than being introduced to a new activity that you’ve always wanted to try.
Mutually engaging in a different venture can also spark interesting conversation for the remainder of the date just be sure it’s something that opens the door for learning about each other in an unusually fun way.
2. Intentionally Plan Something Fun
While getting to know someone you’re interested in the mundane, default question “what do you like to do for fun?” often comes about. This is okay, but of you really want to know what a person likes to do for fun and prepare for an adventurous date you should ask more compelling questions. You should ask things like:
1. What are three local adventures you want to take? This question will spark their attention, make them think and will create a sense of curiosity about themselves and you.
2. If you could do anything on a date, what would it be? Asking this opens the door for a detailed description of your ideal date and lets the other party know how you think and what you may or may not have in common.
3. Would you be opposed to having a masquerade challenge? In the current times we’re living in, wearing a mask has become the new normal for everyone’s safety, so why not make it fun! You can decide on colors or a theme so you can recognize each other. At the end of the date, tally up who received the most compliments on their mask to declare an official winner.
Don't simply ask a person what they like to do, but ask them what they like to do for fun and begin taking steps towards making it happen! Be mindful that everyone’s idea of fun is different, so be open to new ideas and prepare yourself for a new experience.
3. Engage in Quirky Q and A
In a virtual or face to face setting, plan an unusual and appropriate game of question and answer. Research a list of fun and unusual questions from various categories of life to ask each other.
If the setting is virtual you can make a list of questions you want to ask and display them on the screen or place them in the chat-box of the virtual platform you’re using. Make sure the questions are funny, appropriate for the dating level you’re on.
Be open to responding to questions and keep an open mind about responses you receive. You never know what you may learn about yourself and your person of interest.
4. Keep Things Simple
The purpose of dating is to engage in various outings with people to get to know them to see how compatible you are with each other. Many people take dates or the process of dating too seriously and miss the point of it. When actively dating, be sure to do the following:
1. Don’t ask intense questions too soon. If you’re in the beginning stages of dating someone, questions about marriage or the future should be resisted to avoid pressure or awkward moments. Use the time wisely to get to know who the person is that sparked your interest on a friendly level.
2. Have reasonable expectations. Don’t expect your date to show up in a certain way, sound or behave the way you think they should.. Keep an open mind about who they are and enjoy the date. Not only must you have reasonable expectations for your date, but you must have them for yourself as well. Don’t overthink what to wear, say or behave. Be authentically who you are and allow things to flow naturally.
3. Don’t focus on the outcome. If you’re constantly concerned about how the date will end you won’t be able to enjoy it. Be fully present in each moment, enjoy the person in front of you and the outcome will worry about itself.
4. Plan a low maintenance date. There’s no need to go on expensive dates in the beginning stages of dating. A simple, yet intimate environments are ideal places to keep dates fun and simple.
5. Know How to Have Fun
The key to having more fun on dates is to understand what it means to have fun. Before you go on your next date, take a minute to ask yourself the following questions:
1. Am I open to new experiences?
2. What do I do for fun?
3. How often do I laugh at myself?
4. What is my idea of having fun?
As you ask yourself each question, make sure you are open and honest with yourself and write down each response. Once you’ve written each response to the questions reflect on each answer to evaluate how much fun you have as an individual.
If you notice that your responses fall on the mundane or boring side of things, take some time to reinvent your habits of fun with yourself first so you’ll know how to have fun with others. Know that it’s okay to let your hair down, laugh at yourself and laugh with others.
You can’t have fun on a date if you don’t know how to have fun in your everyday life.
Dating at any time and any age can be challenging, but you can make the most of it by enjoying the journey and plan to intentionally have fun on each date. While the search for a soulmate is often at the forefront of the hearts of many, the fact is that you have to go through the process of dating and weighing your options before the one God has for you is sent your way.
Explore your options, enjoy the journey and make it your business to have a blast on each date you have.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Deagreez
Author Liz Lampkin is an experienced writer, teacher, and speaker. She is an advocate for singles who encourages them to live their best life God’s way. Follow her on Instagram @Liz_Lampkin.