Christian Singles & Dating

Help free two Pakistanis scheduled for execution for their faith!

How to reject 'defective dating'

  • Joshua Harris Author and Speaker
  • 2005 11 May
How to reject 'defective dating'
Chapter 2 (of my book I Kissed Dating Goodbye) points out the problems (seven to be exact) that plague many dating relationships. But this isn't just a finger-wagging session about what's wrong. We're not just saying "no" to the defective, but yes to the effective.

Look at "The Seven Habits of Defective Dating" from that perspective, and you'll see what I mean. Turn each problem inside out and you will realize that by rejecting the defective, you're welcoming God's best for your life. Look at what you're saying yes to:

1. I reject defective dating that leads to intimacy without commitment, and I embrace the beauty of total intimacy and total commitment in marriage.

2. I reject defective dating that tends to skip the "friendship" stage of a relationship, and I choose to build my future marriage on the solid foundation of friendship with my spouse.

3. I reject defective dating that mistakes a physical relationship for love, and I choose purity and the clarity that comes in a relationship undistracted by premarital physical involvement.

4. I reject defective dating that isolates me from other vital relationships, and I'm saying yes to the joy, wisdom, and godly perspective that comes from investing in family and other friends.

5. I reject defective dating that distracts me from my primary responsibility of preparation, and I choose to glorify God and serve my future spouse by using this time in my life to prepare for the future.

6. I reject defective dating that causes discontentment with God's gift of singleness, and I embrace the contentment that comes with a heart of gratefulness and an attitude that seeks to make the most of today.

7. I reject defective dating that creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character, and I choose to get to know my future spouse in a setting that lets us both see who we really are and what our true character is.

We don't "kiss dating goodbye" because we're afraid of relationships but because we want something better - a lifestyle of purposeful singleness that allows us to make the most of today and prepare for tomorrow.

Join Josh in chat Oct. 26 for an exclusive party to celebrate the release of his new book, Boy Meets Girl. Interact with Josh, win prizes, get your book signed, and have a blast!

Send a blank email to to RSVP for the event and get the weekly Q&A with Josh email newsletter.

We promise to not use your email address for anything else and we will NOT give your email address to anyone else. Easy unsubscribe instructions can be found at the bottom of all email newsletters.

Thanks! And we look forward to seeing you at the event.