4. "You should use this time to track down a spouse."
Singles do often have something married couples do not: time.
One reason the devil may hone our focus on getting a spouse is because he would rather us do that than use the time we have for something else, such as missions. Yes, by all means, if you want to explore Christian dating, and you feel God calling you in that direction, you should follow His plan.
But do keep in mind, Satan will try to hijack whatever free time you have so you can’t use it for God’s kingdom.
How to combat this lie: Analyze how much time you spend on pursuing a future spouse, whether it takes over your thoughts, or you spend hours on dating apps or at blind dates people in your church may set up for you. Ask yourself if there are ways you can be better spending your time to change God’s kingdom.
Scripture: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33)
5. “Singleness is a curse.”
Sometimes our churches make it out to be this way, even though the Apostle Paul lauded singleness as a gift (1 Corinthians 7).
Satan will do whatever he can to twist any good gift from God. How He twists singleness is by convincing Christians and entire congregations that God has somehow cursed a believer if He does not give them a spouse.
How to combat this lie: View singleness as a gift. See how the extra time this gift gives you can open up opportunities to serve more, love more, and bring back glory to God.
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7
6. “You’re not good enough/mature enough for a spouse.”
I didn’t like some chapel speakers who came to our Christian high school, because they would often say, “Maybe God isn’t sending you a significant other because you need time to mature before you can get into a marriage.”
Or, “How can you expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself?”
Or, “You need to be OK to be single before God will grant you a spouse.”
Yes, I got these talks since I was about fourteen.
Each of the above quotes goes askew for a number of reasons. First, the comparison game never works. I’m sure we could argue we’re more mature than some Christians who have entered marriage, etc. Second, if marriages rested on the need to love yourself enough, no marriages would take place. Third, I’ve known plenty of Christians who wanted to be married, got married, and never went through long periods of singleness.
How to combat this lie: Similar to Job’s talks with his friends, God does not withhold something because of something you did in the past or some attitude you need to adopt. Job’s friends were convinced he lost his family, home, and health because of some past sin. They were, of course, wrong. In the same way, God does not withhold a spouse because of your past or some attitude you need to reflect. He makes everything happen according to his plan.
Scripture: In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing. (Job 1:22)
Photo credit: Unsplash/Jason Wong