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If You're Not Involved in a Singles Ministry

If You're Not Involved in a Singles Ministry

EDITOR'S NOTEHe Said-She Said is a biweekly advice column for singles featuring a question from a reader with responses from a male and female point of view. If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to He Said-She Said (selected questions will be posted anonymously).

QUESTION: How can a single Christian make an impact for the kingdom of God when he or she is not involved in a singles ministry?

HE SAID: I’ll put it as succinctly as possible: By doing something positive wherever you are with whatever you have!

Many of us have gotten so used to categorizing people (single, married, divorced, liberal, conservative, rich, poor, etc.), we occasionally do the same with ourselves and end up limiting what we think we can do. Just because you are single, don’t let it define who you are or what you can accomplish.

A “single” can do more than just serve in a singles ministry. I spent years working in youth ministry. I have friends who serve in the children’s ministry and others with the homeless. I belong to a church with a hiking, jiu-jitsu, Zumba and surf ministry. There is no end to how you can make an impact for the kingdom of God.

It’s not imperative for you to serve only in the “classification” you see yourself in; the most important thing is to discover the gifts and desires God gave you and find where you can best put them to use. If there is no “ministry” for how you want to serve—start one!

Be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to obey his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul (Joshua 22:5).

How often have you heard a plea for volunteers to serve in the nursery, go to the mission field or drive a van full of kids on a trip and you feel a sense of guilt rather than desire come over you? Everyone isn’t called to serve in the same place, but we are called to serve in the same way—with all of our heart.

Nothing will please God more than when we are doing what we were created for using what we were gifted with.

SHE SAID: As I am sometimes wont to do when it comes to all things “He Said-She Said,” I’m going to answer your question with a question:

Can God ONLY use you as an ambassador for Christ and for his kingdom purposes if you’re involved in a singles ministry?

If you feel that that is the case and are struggling with not being involved in a singles ministry, then I recommend digging in the Word and reading about the many individuals God used to further his kingdom—regardless of whether or not there was a singles ministry (or a young parents' ministry or a senior citizens' ministry . . . or any demographic-specific ministry or small group or Sunday School class for that matter!) at their local place of worship.

Bottom line, God is not to be boxed in. Just think of the simple fact that he brought his kingdom to earth by way of an unmarried, pregnant teenage woman and a dusty feeding trough for barnyard animals. Do you feel me? Also, we can get a glimpse (Isaiah 55:9) of how multi-faceted (and many times unpredictable!) he is, because of what he communicates to us about himself in his Word and through the world around us (Romans 1:20).

All of that is to say this: God is not limited in his working through your life to reach others by whether or not you are involved in a singles ministry. He is bigger than that.

So let me challenge you to unshackle whatever needs to be virtually unshackled so that you are ready to go wherever God is taking you. Sure, he may have you be a part of a singles ministry at some point. But what if he doesn’t? What if he takes you somewhere completely “crazy” or to a place in your life that everyone else thinks is not “right” or “normal” because it doesn’t fit with their (or your) concept of singleness?  

As believers, we are led by the Spirit who searches all things, who is from God and who connects us with the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:10-16). I hope you will free your mind up today, as God leads, so that it can be enveloped in the mind of Christ. What does he want for your life? Where is he guiding you? What special outreach opportunities does he want to bring forth that may or may not involve a singles ministry?

This is a great question that you have asked and leads me to believe you are very conscientious and truly desire to serve the Lord most effectively in your current season. So press on and remember this: your involvement in a singles ministry or not, God’s kingdom on earth will prevail


HE is … Cliff Young, a contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.

Laura MacCorkleSHE is … 
Laura MacCorkle, Senior Editor at She loves God, her family and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who's counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one. 

DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We're just average folk who understand what it's like to live the solo life in the twenty-first century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life's questions, and it's where we'll go for guidance when responding to your questions. Also, it's important to note that we write our answers separately (we think they sound eerily similar sometimes, too!). 

GOT A QUESTION? If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please submit it to He Said-She Said (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that this column will be an encouragement to you. Click here to visit the He Said-She Said archives.