Christian Singles & Dating

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Stop Feeling Sorry for Singles

Stop Feeling Sorry for Singles

It's no secret - both society and the church have not been too kind to singles. Singles have often been handled with kids' gloves as if something is awfully amiss in their lives. Then there's the barrage of unsolicited advice hurled at them right, left, and center. Little wonder they often dodge family and social gatherings, if only to get some reprieve from the questioning eyes and running tongues. The truth is that there is nothing wrong with being single. While writing to the Corinthian Church, Paul talks at length about the perks of being single, but more of that in a moment.

Many single people in the Bible lived rich and purpose-filled lives, and never once did they bemoan their status. In fact, they reveled in the same. Besides Paul, there was John the Baptist, Mary Magdalene, Dorcas, Mary and Martha of Bethany, Anna, and Jeremiah. Then there was Jesus, the savior of the world. He, too, was single. Judging from the list above and other people you and I may know, it is crystal clear that singlehood is not a misfortune. Singles are not living a second-rate life, nor are they in a "waiting mode." God has a great plan for them. This article will let you in on why you need to stop feeling sorry for them.

1. God Gives Contentment

My friend Stacy had battled an illness for years on end, and it broke my heart to see her fragile body and imagine the turmoil boiling up in her heart. I visited her one day, anticipating finding her writhing in a pity party. To my surprise, Stacy was oozing with gratitude and donned a positive attitude like a cloak. In the end, she is the one who wound up encouraging me. It turns out that God had been ministering strength to her throughout her sickness.

This is the same case with some singles. While we are caught up feeling sorry for them and even trying to connect them with "eligible suitors," they are having the time of their lives. Take, for example, Paul; he outrightly stated that he cherished being single and even wished that everyone else was like him(1 Corinthians 7:7). He would have been astounded if he found people feeling sorry for him. We need to remember that God has good thoughts towards each of his children. They are thoughts of peace and not of evil ( Jeremiah 29:11).

The Scriptures state that godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6). When God has made any of His children feel content, best believe that they are fine. Feeling sorry for them is unnecessary.

2. Singlehood Is a Gift

"For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that." (1 Corinthians 7:7).

There are various things that human beings consider as gifts and blessings from God, the top of the list being marriage and kids. But did you know that singlehood is also a gift from God? Those who have been endowed with this gift (like Paul) take on life with a spring in their step. Like fish thrive in water, they also live in the optimum environment.

They do not walk around feeling dejected because God has equipped them for singlehood. So just as we don't take pity on people enjoying vibrant marriages, we should not be tempted to sympathize with the singles. Who knows, they may be having a ball with their lives.

3. Singles Can Serve God with Fewer Distractions

"But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife." (1 Corinthians 7: 32-33).

Each of us is called to serve in the Lord's vineyard. Jesus asked His disciples to pray to the Lord of the harvest that He would send out laborers because the harvest was plentiful but the laborers few (Mathew 9:37-38). He also stated that he did not come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45). Depending on the gifts and talents that God has bestowed upon us, there are many areas where each of us can serve.

Married people, however, tend to have more hurdles to contend with in their quest to serve. For instance, my church frequently organizes overnight prayer meetings. When my kids were younger, I could not even toy with the idea of attending the meetings. On such nights, I couldn't help but envy my single friends who were attending the meetings without a care in the world.

Besides advancing the kingdom of God, serving brings great joy and fulfillment. Paul urged the Corinthian church to abound in the work of the Lord, seeing that their labor in the Lord was not in vain. Single people who are diligently serving are laying up for themselves treasures in heaven. They should, therefore, not be pitied.

4. Singles Can Still Enjoy Other Rich and Meaningful Relationships

At Least once every month, I link up with my girlfriends for coffee or lunch. I derive great pleasure from our meetings as we chat, giggle, share goofy jokes and simply revel in each other's company. These meetings always seem to perk me up. I go back to my family with renewed zest and a (sneaky) smile painted on my face.

Besides being in a love relationship, there are other friendships that single people can forge with their peers. The Bible warns us against isolating ourselves (Proverbs 18:1) and asks us to encourage and build up each other (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Paul also urged the Hebrew church not to give up meeting together (Hebrews 10:25).

Single people can pursue godly friendships and give loneliness the boot. Besides, there are many other perks that godly friendships offer. Friends challenge you to pull up your socks, support you in difficult times, elevate your self-esteem and relieve you of stress. Married people should not assume that the singles are languishing in loneliness. There's a good chance that they are thriving in other gratifying relationships.

5. Singles Are Better Placed to Pursue Their Life Goals

"But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day." (Proverbs 4:18)

God values growth and self-improvement. Throughout Scripture, we see Him frowning upon lack of progress. Jesus said that He takes away every branch that does not bear fruit and prunes every branch that bears fruit so that it may bear more fruit. God is delighted to see His children progress and achieve various strides in their lives.

Having said that, it's often easier for singles to spruce up their lives since they have fewer responsibilities. They can pursue their life goals and accomplish the things they set their hearts on more easily. For instance, they may have fewer hurdles to leap over as they seek to further their studies and seek promotions in the workplace.

The odds are stacked in their favor. It's also easier for them to embrace self-care practices such as reading, exercising, meditating, therapy, Journaling, and therapy. So the next time you are tempted to feel sorry for a single person, remember that God knows what He is doing with their lives. God's ways are perfect (Psalm 18:30).

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Rowan Jordan

Crosswalk Writer Keren KanyagoKeren Kanyago is a freelance writer and blogger at Parenting Spring. As a wife and mom, she uses her blog to weigh in on pertinent issues around parenting, marriage, and the Christian Faith. She holds a degree in mass communication with a specialty in print media. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram and/or shoot her an email at

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You can read Rhonda's full article here.