First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the lovely couple with a baby carriage. For as long as I can remember this has been a part of life’s blueprint for adults, young and old.
You get an education that will drive you towards a promising career, you meet the perfect mate, fall in love, plan a family and live happily ever after.
But, while growing up, no one is taught that your happily ever after can exist without the benefit of marriage. Maybe it's because people fail to see the splendor of existing in an unmarried state or believe that being single means to be alone and unhappy.
For many years I thought being single was a stage of life that was short-lived. I saw it as an interim period that was purposed for preparing one for marriage because I was never taught to see the blessing and the gift of being single.
My focus was on what the world and many older Christians thought about a single person. Many believe that going through life without being married meant that you were desolate or unworthy of such an honor.
My eyes and ears only focused on having a relationship that could lead to marriage which took an emotional toll on how I viewed and valued myself. Then one day, the spirit came to me and asked the most profound question, “Are you a reflection of the mate you desire”?
This question lingered in my mind for quite some time as I was fearful of the answer. After two weeks of intentional avoidance, I decided to give the response to this question which was a hard and loud no!
After answering this question I laughed at myself and realized that I was not ready for marriage because I did not know how to be single. I soon realized I didn’t know how to be single because my mind and heart did not allow me to understand what this period in my life was intended for.
So I decided that I would take steps towards learning how to live as an unmarried woman and how to reverse what I knew about being single.
Here are eight steps I took to turn my head knowledge about being single into heart knowledge.
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed." James 1:5-6
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