Is sex before marriage a sin if you love the person?
While sex isn’t everything it is something. There is a bit of mystery around the act that makes it hard to pinpoint what about it is so significant. God did create sex to symbolize the union of a man and a woman (Genesis 2:23-24). We see later in the New Testament (1 Corinthians 7:2) that sex is reserved for marriage between a man and a woman. Sex was designed to bring two people together and seal a bond that should last for life.
The Bible clearly tells us that God did set sex aside as a significant act of love and commitment meant only for married life. As Christ followers we are prompted to commit to waiting it out until the big day.
We have to trust God, knowing that He created sex with your life changing union in mind. Since we know it means something to Him, as people in His family, we should take the attitude that says, “If it means something to Him it should mean something to us.”
We follow a mysterious God (1 Corinthians 1:4) and He asks His people to trust and believe that He has your very best in mind. As believers, we are called to give over our sexual desire to the Lord and follow His plan. Just as God throughout the Bible instructs His people is so many other ways (see the entire book of Proverbs), His instruction around sex is Him seeing the big picture of our lives and trying to push us toward the best this life has to offer.
1 Corinthians 13:5 reminds us that love is not self-seeking. The best way to show love to your partner is to love them, and their spiritual well-being, more than your love your own body and its desires.
If I had sex before marriage, can God forgive me?
If you’ve had sex in the past, God can absolutely forgive you. God’s love covers all of your sins and sexual sin is no different (1 Peter 4:8). There is no need to bring guilt, hurt, or fear that what you did in the past will ruin your future, into your marriage. Just as we have to find healing and cling to God’s redemptive power for other areas in our lives we have fell short, sex before marriage is no different.
God will heal and restore your brokenness.
In my own story by God’s grace, my husband and I were each other’s first and only’s. We waited until our wedding day for our first time. I’ll be honest-- your first time is filled with awkward moments and there is a learning curve to this thing. Nonetheless, I am forever proud of us for keeping that commitment to each other. We have never doubted each other’s faithfulness in our 12 years of marriage (and many more to go).
I’ve had to draw on that same willpower we grew in the years we dated so many times for so many different reasons over our years. That being said, there are no guarantees if you wait your marriage is assured to last but I know it sure helps. You will never regret keeping this promise to each other and life is too short to carry regret.
God honors our obedience to Him word and commands. He will honor you and your soon-to-be spouse for following His best way to a life together.
Amanda Idleman is a wife, homeschooling Momma to three amazing kids and is passionate about encouraging others to live joyfully. Amanda also loves to write as a freelance writer and on her blog (when she finds a spare moment for it). You can find out more about Amanda at her blog rvahouseofjoy.wordpress.comor follow her on Instagram at rvahouseofjoy.
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