September 29, 2008
by Charles R. Swindoll
Because we've lived with our wives over the years and have become extremely comfortable around them, we tend to be unguarded in our words. Wives usually get the brunt of our worst words. Since this is true, let's agree today that we will restrain ourselves from verbal impurity. Job didn't make a blasphemous statement. He didn't curse God. Furthermore, he didn't curse her. As we read earlier, Job didn't call her "wicked," but "foolish."
Job may have been a public figure, but he didn't throw his weight around. It makes no difference how well known or how important you are, how long you've been married, how much money you make, or how big your company is---or your church is; no man has the right to talk down to his wife. She is your partner---your equal. Furthermore, she knows a lot of stuff on you. Someday she may write your long-awaited, unauthorized biography!
Accept her completely; love her unconditionally. A wife thrives in a context of love and acceptance. She is who she is. God has made her into the woman she has become. And may I remind you, she is the wife you chose. She has become the woman God is making her into, and that calls for complete acceptance and unconditional love on your part.
Ideally, that combination results in a deep commitment. Both of you are in this relationship for the long haul. You're there to stay. And no amount of hardship, difficulty, test, or trial will separate you. In fact, it can pull you closer.
Tragically, many a marriage is bound together by very thin, fragile threads. As tests come---from the in-laws or the children, perhaps a difficulty at birth that leads to defects in a child, or trials and tests in the business or financial realm . . . whatever---deliberately pull together and determine to hang in there. Tell her how much she means to you. Talk to her about her value in your life---how much she represents to you. When the crucible heats up, too many guys look for ways to get out.
Don't get out. Get tough with yourself and stay, no matter what.
Reprinted by permission. Day by Day, Charles Swindoll, July 2005, Thomas Nelson, inc., Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved. Purchase "Day by Day" here.