Lord, Make Me a Better Wife (And Start With Him)
By Lisa Lakey
God, if you would just make him be a better husband, I will be a better wife.
I’m ashamed to admit I uttered these words often during the first couple of years of marriage. I was all about praying for my new husband. I knew that’s what a good wife should do. I just went about it the wrong way.
I’ve also given God a list of ways my husband could be a better spouse. Not in any particular order, of course. I just knew our marriage could thrive, as long as he did xyz. The problem with this line of thinking is it shifts all responsibility and blame for the problems in our marriage to my spouse.
And it uses prayer as a selfish attempt to control my spouse. Thankfully, God sees past my selfish ambition and works to change me.
Philippians 2:3 tells me to “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
I doubt I’ll ever completely be able to pray without selfishness—my own agendas, my own sin—clouding my vision. (Thankfully, I believe the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf, praying God’s will for me; see Romans 8:26-27.)
But rather than praying from a heart that blames my husband, I’ve started looking for the “log in my eye” in my prayers (Matthew 7:5)—allowing God to first reveal my own heart. Then I see a lot more clearly to pray for my man.
The good stuff: And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. (1 John 5:14)
Action points: We often think we know what’s best for our spouse. Instead, humbly ask your spouse how you can pray for them—and prayerfully seek God’s desires for your spouse. Take time for spouse-related gratitude as you pray for them.
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